"Do not use places with standing water".
Takes me back to the time when all we had was the outside $hitter in the village house, before we had a western style bathroom installed.
The worse time to take a dump was at night, it was like the scene from the movie Bridge Over The River Kwai, where Alec Guinness gets dragged to the "Hole" a tin shack cell.
That was our council gritter, hot enough to rise the pastry on a Fray Bentos steak and kidney pie in about five minutes flat. Even in the middle of the night.
Switch the light on, a dim 25watt bulb and a vast cloud of mosquitoes would fly in formation around the bulb for bearings then proceed to attack my bare ar$e and legs.
It was one of those squat and aim pans.
After that attack I go and spray mossie killer into the council gritter before taking a dump. That done the trick.
