I have a couple of friend's who are very happily married to Thai ladies. After meeting them I decided to look into this. Over the last month I have met and conversed " online chat " with her most days ( about 2 hours ) when we do not chat then "E" Mails are exchanged. I feel that we have a common respect in life and family. BUT after a little research I am getting nervous, as I have read all about the disasters, but also the happy endings.
I plan to travel and meet her in August. as we were to meet in BKK she had a flight to arrange, I insisted that I would pay for it and she was thankful for this but worried that I would think she was bad as she had agreed to take time of work and spend it with me. When I tried to book the flight it turns out I must be present at the check in to produce the CC the flight is booked under. So I cant do this ( I did offer to send the money for the flight ( £45 ) but she refused. I then offered 3 choices

1. I would change my flight and we would meet in Udon Thani
2 I would send the money for the flight
3 She could pay for the flight and I would pay the cost back when we meet
( Her Choice )
The answer back was it was my choice and simply do the easiest thing for me.
The question I ask is ( I don't think so, but value any input ) could this be a scam, I cant see it but having never being to Thailand I am quite naive, To the fact I feel stupid to ask, but advice from any one with experience / knowledge should be heeded.

PS she is 38 I am 40, so there is no young girl scenario involved

In advance thank you for any post's and advice

Marty

Have a go at it. I did the same 2 years ago and am happly married now living in AUSTRALIA. When you get to Udon Book into the IRISH CLOCK ( ABOUT 850 BHT A NIGHT) good value, or try the TOP MANSION just down the road ( 350 Bht ). Enjoy Thailand . STUMPY

I did the same a couple of years ago, and am going to marry with my wonderfull girlfriend later this year.
Don't get paranoid because all the bad stories, there are also a lot of good stories. Just keep using your common sense.
Go for it. Good luck.

Thus far you've been given good advise. Really not much more to add other than take it slow and easy, no need to rush into any commitments.

Good luck and enjoy your visit in Thailand.

go with option 3, her answer of its your choice and do whats easier for you, to me sounds like she is genuine, my wife is always saying, up to you . its the way good thai women are. you been chatting to her for a while ,so you must of established what type of person she is, trust your own judgement, keep all the horror stories in the back of your mind, but dont let it cloud your judgement. give the girl a fair chance, who knows could be the best thing you ever did. good luck.

Yes I agree with everyone else, you are not risking anything and even if she did not turn up to meet you, there is still a wonderful holiday to be had.
Personally I would meet her in Udon but if your worried about getting your connection, which you shouldn't, get her to meet you in Bangers, up to you as you will hear many, many times in the near future.

Take heed of the disaster stories and don't rush into anything but always remember, as many of this forums members can testify, there are a great many success stories to.

Good luck with it all Marty and don't be afraid to ask if you have any more questions, we don't bite, well not all the time

Can always use the PM to, most members would certainly not mind if you were worried about something you did not want broadcast to the world.

Go for it mate you have nothing to lose, I meet my TF and now happly living in austraia have a new son it is the best thing in my life, if she does not turn up just push the reselect button and you will soon find one just proced carefully to you know here for a while, best of aussie luck to you, PS you will love Udon
Regards Bubs

Marty,you have only connected on the internet!YOU DO NOT KNOW EACH OTHER!

There is no way of telling whether she is gaming you or not!Everything she has done ,has also been done by girls that are nearly pros at the game and/or supported/guided by pros!

Her age and ability to speak English also makes her elgible to be quite experienced at the ''game''!

As you say ,you are naive.So ,let me say that your reactions by offering to pay w/o being asked,puts you in the prime sucker category if she is a pro!

Many guys that have fallen into the trap can look back at this first money step,the offering to pay up front!They rationalize it as being a nice guy,but many of them are in denial that they are trying to impress her that they are a nice guy!

The setting of the hook is her refusal to accept,then to your insistence,the ''up to you''!

The internet is the best medium for trapping the sucker that is already motivated to find a Thai girl!Think about it!You slowly give the ''gamer'' all your information about yourself and your personality that she needs to understand how or whether she can manipulate you,while at the same time your motivation and desire for her is enhanced!

By the time you meet,you are a flower that is being plucked!You are already entertaining thoughts and feelings about being in love.While the lady is not and has not been raised to think or feel like that!In fact,her real motivation for contacting you is security first,companionship second and hope that you will be a nice man and a good husband that she can grow to love!!
That is if she is in the very small minority of women ,on the net seeking,that is a sincere ''good girl''!It is well documented that the overwhelming majority are not what you have on your mind as a nice good gal!

IMO,one should take their time in the selection of potential mates from the net!Always keeping in mind that the majority are after your money!So ,you should provide much information that doesn't give the impression that you are manageable!You should set boundaries early on the lets her know that you have no intention of not having control of your hard earned money while at the same time communicating the lifestyle that you and her would lead together.Honesty w/o compromise,between each other,should be mandatory throughout your relationship!

I could go on and on,but this should give you some direction!
None of this advice is saying that your ''girl'' is not true,but if she is she is in the minority!Since you have been talking already for a longtime,if I were you I would tell her your concerns,that you are talking to others for advice and that you would want to set some boundaries initially in the relationship!

If you are already ''in love''from the internet,then I fear you are unsalvagable at this point and that you are destined to suffer or enjoy the consequences of your thinking and actions!That your asking for advice was probably looking for ''agreement'' rather than advice!

WHATEVER HAPPENS,I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK!!!

All great advice above. If you dont meet this Lady you will never know, so take the plunge and find out for yourself. One thing that know one else mentioned was when your Holiday is finished your friend should not ask you to send her money, nor should you offer. There are girls that I know of (met personally) who have 4 or 5 guys sending them money to help out the family. This is the scam and you should be aware that it does exist! Have a go, there's plenty of fish in the sea if this one does'nt work out

My gut feeling is TROLL

Joins yesterday and very first post is the usual questions.

You guys give great advise, i just hope it isn't in vain.

Marty, Why haven't you joined this forum before now?

You apparently have many contacts in Thailand.

What is the opinion of your friends?

What research have you done? Certainly you know about the other websites like Stickman and Thaivisa?

You said: "BUT after a little research I am getting nervous, as I have read all about the disasters, but also the happy endings."

Sorry but I am just dumbfounded you would ask questions even after reading all about them.

What is it you are looking for that isn't available on the Stickman or Thaivisa site?

In any case..... if I am wrong about you (which I am most of the the time) Stan's post is worth reading several times.

you should be able to buy her a ticket to bkk without showing up to check her in. i would have her meet you in bkk, unless you actually want to be in udon. don't know your plans, bkk and beyond. but if simply going to be in bkk, then udon is fine alternative, but if planned an some beach time, have her come to bkk.

this will also, though maybe not necessary, since bit older, leave the outside influences in udon, away from her. also save you a bit of hassle and money, if she wants to lead you around to her village, friends and family, which usually turns into a waste of your money and vacation time.

take it slow, enjoy your vacation.

Marty, Have you ever traveled to Thailand?

If not you will be in big trouble, believe me.

Here is a different world where your rules and views on life are invalidated.

So please answer my question first before going any further in this venue

I think that if genuine, Marty has read too many disaster stories.

Why because he "Insisted" that HE pay her fare to BKK, is he wondering if she is scamming???.

Surely, the thing to do, is meet her in Udon!

He has known her for a month! I would say that he needs to come here, get to know her in person, that is the only way for him to know if she is one of the many "Good-uns" or otherwise.

My advice would be be aware of the pitfalls, but don"t let your scepticism ruin what may be the start of some thing good.

All the best

thalenoi, he does actually say he has never been to Thailand