Advice needed; I met a girl from Udon (farm girl) 22yrold (been in bar 2 months) last month in a bar in Krabi while on holiday there . Stayed with me for 1 week traviling around Southwest. ( She is a devout Buddist. One day we went to temple to thank Buddha for finding me !!)and then I took her to Bangkok with me and then paid for her to go (fly) back to the farm in Isaan where she is "WAITING" for me .sms me everyday, ( no email in village) Wants me to meet family etc etc says she luvs me etc etc . Am keen on seeing where it goes but ???? seem to be the real deal but???
Any advice welcome !!!
The Badger

Invest 5000 baht in a landline telephone for the village and see if she is there waiting?
Seriously,one,why are you asking for advice from complete strangers?Two,if your serious,why don't you be specific in your needs?
Most,not all,wish you happiness and success,but One week together and you think it is the ''real deal''?You could be right,but it is also a classic young bar girls ''story''!Whether it is true or not,no advice givers can tell you!
Why don't you check the archives of relationship,bar girl threads and references to other sites with ''experiences''to share and formulate your own plan!

Sorry to break the news, but its unlikely to be the real deal.

She loves your money, not you. She won't come to love you. You can find the rest of the story by Googling 'thai bar girl scam' .

Maybe Mr Badger, you need to read private dancer by stephen leather, a good book about bargirls and hopefully will give you a better understanding.

People never learn.... So much written on this subject.....

boy, that's a bunch of negative imput for the guy. but probably true. most have met the same person, different name and village. brings to mind, the song, Dixie Chicken, by Little Feat.

been there done that, and luckily survived, if following thru, take Stan's advice, and get land line. tell her your phone is messed up and call you collect, if possible.

good luck, take it very slow, and invest nothing that you wouldn't gamble in the casino or stock market. other words, expendable money.

again, hope you are one of the happy exceptions.

badger wrote:Wants me to meet family etc etc says she luvs me etc etc . Am keen on seeing where it goes but ???? seem to be the real deal but???

My advice is.... take a few more trips visit the family see the country have fun so then you can see where it goes...if you don't try you will never know, bar girls are NOT all out to rip you off,you will only find out by seeing more of her.

It seems all the advice you will get on this forum is negative.
I guess the people who give you the negative advice got the only saintly partners in Thailand and every other person is no good.
She may be good, she may be bad, who knows? That is something only you can evaluate over time.
Money is usually the main problem in a relationship.
If you are substantially older than her, you should use much more caution when handing out your money. It is not natural for an age gap of 20 or 30 years. She may bond with you over time but I would bet that initially she is seeking your financial support.

If your ages are close there is more of a chance she will be genuine her feelings for you.

Do what I did, don

marshallb66 wrote:It seems all the advice you will get on this forum is negative.

Did'nt think my advice was negative.

I didn't think any of it was negative,including marshallb66's,which was consistent except to criticize the rest of us!

Spend all you like on her Badger, the locals need it

Bargirl! One Week! Says she loves me! Agggghhhh!!!!

Same advise as always...think with the head on your shoulders not the one in your pants.

But why bargirls when there are tens and tens of thousands of Isaan women not making their livings on their backs or knees available... rant over again.

Roadman wrote:Bargirl! One Week! Says she loves me! Agggghhhh!!!!

Same advise as always...think with the head on your shoulders not the one in your pants.

But why bargirls when there are tens and tens of thousands of Isaan women not making their livings on their backs or knees available... rant over again.

Girls who work in bars are not all on their backs every night.
Even here in little old Udon - there are bars where the girls will fall over themselves to go home with you and other bars where you wouldn't even dare mention it.

You cannot tare everyone with the same brush.

I know the odds are not favourable but out there are some mighty fine women who cannot find any other work except to work in a bar. It certainly doesn't make them all prostitiutes ! No more than guys who work in bars are hustlers !

been in bar 2 months

Every bargirl will say that. Only if she doesn't speak any English it may be true.

She is a devout Buddist

Almost all people in Thailand are. She will thank Buddha for finding a customer who is so naieve to spend a lot of money on her, and believes anything she says.

and then paid for her to go (fly) back to the farm in Isaan

Did you actually see her get into the airplane? No? Then she waited until you were gone and took the cheapes bus back to Krabi to go to her job.

says she luvs me etc etc

She will say that to any potantial customer.

Am keen on seeing where it goes

She has to provide for her family, so a cellphone and a TV will probably be all she owns. You can send her money, it will all be devided among her poor family.
She dosn't trust you at all, but she will hope for you to be good and generous.
If you continue to give her money, see it as a donation to the poor.

A bargirl in Thailand works the same way as a high class escort girl in the west. She plays to be your girlfriend, and gives you any illusion you like. Thai girls are very good at it.
You may think she is your girlfriend but you will be her customer. Maybe if you know her more than a year and spent time with her and her family, you will know who she really is.
Don't forget that now, she is a working girl and you know nothing about her, her culture, her way of thinking, her way of life etc.

Badger, yours is a tough question and since this is your first post, we know nothing about you other than you fall in love very easily . This may or may not be a 'problem', (if it is, I have the same one). I think the difference is I'm a bit older and have had more experience?? Again, we just don't know. If you're really serious about needing help you need to give us a few more details about yourself and your girlfriend. Generally speaking, getting a land-line in the village and having her call from there (or you call there at some specific time each day) will tell you a lot about your young lady. My own personal curiosity about the lady in question is how well does she speak English? What is her education? You say she was 2 months in a bar and the last month in Krabi... where was the 1st month? It has been my experience that 2 months in a bar is not sufficient to be able to converse with you in English (maybe you speak Thai?) Until some of these responses are answered, I'm afraid most of what you well hear from us will probably be negative. Sorry.