After a deception with my former girlfriend I wanted a new one and the to get one quick is to go to the internetsite Thailovelinks to find one. Only in the city Udonthani there are a few hundred nice ladies on the side in the age between 30 and 50. Soon I had several nice contacts and email adresses and wanted to start to meet them for coffee and see if it could be one of my girlfriends. But one lady on the msn would see me inmediately, she was 29 and I am 62 . I told here she was a little to young for me, but she said age is just a number. So I met here that afternoon opposite the airport and she brought me to a home nearby. That was the home of here matchmaker, who was intermediar for the emails, because the lady in question could only say: yes, no and up to you. She looked nice and wanted to stay in my home and the next day she did so. Here family came by, father, mother and two small kids from here. They live about 50 km outside the town Udon. Papa said you can have here for nothing. So we started a relation together in my home .
She had a few clothes and one pair of old shoes. The first week I bought for shoes and clothes for about 4500 thb.
I send here to the languageschool oposite Robinson for English lessons private one teachter 3450 thb.
After two weeks I bought clothes for the children 2600 thb.
I gave here father every fourteen days 4000 thb for the children is 8000 a month (to much i think afterall)
Gave here pocketmoney about 1500 thb a week. And if we visited the children I bought toys, fruit etc.
If we had lunch overthere papa joined the family and we ate outside for about 1400 thb.

I liked the lady, but here father gave everyday phonecalls to here. After 6 weeks she wanted suddenly 20000 thb.
I said why but no answer came, only she would leave me if I did not pay. I said to here you do not get extra money from me, i pay enough. That evening she packed here things and the next morning here father came with the car.
The went sitting in front of my house and also the matchmaker came. Now i knew why they needed the money for.
After a little hour of talking the matchmaker asked my girlfriend: Do you want to stay with him. I told here you must ask me and told here inmediate that the girl and here family could go, because I do not like blackmail.
I closed my door took my motorcycle and went to town for coffee . When I came back only the girl was in front of my door and I send here away.

That afternoon I was called by the tourispolice and the orderded my to come. I took a Thailady from a friend with me, because I can speak only a nitnoy thai. They wanted money from me. The policeman was lisning a half hour to the story and said why are you here go home and speak there, and send the thaifamily and also the matchmaker who disapeared to out of the office, and said to me that I could go where I wanted to, nothing wrong.

The lady has called me several times to come back, because they realize now that the 8000 thb and free living and eating and education are over. I cannot live with a family who is blackmail me, asking to much and go to policestations etc. They wanted the jackpot at once, and now they have nothing only sorry for that two little children from here.
I am now several weeks later and she found out that I have found an other lady and she sms tonight on the phone that I have always a place in here hart can be true because I did the best things for here, but family presure and thinking about quickmoney spoiled here future with me.

Henrie, sorry but you disobeyed the FIRST RULE of a long time relationship. You did not take your time to check her out. Good, true relationships take TIME not money. Actually it sounds like you got off pretty cheaply, hope you've learned a lesson.

Agree....and maybe she learned a lesson too.

why oh why do guys coming to thailand leave thier brains at the nothing to declare gate at swampy airport when they arrive . just because its easier to get yours hands on a young attractive girl here does not mean the rules of engagement are any differant from wherever you came from . i think a lot of guys should stand in front of the mirror for at least half an hour everday and get a reality check , i mean would you , fancy you ? i am not slatting thai women here, because there are many many thai ladies looking for a good man to give them security and companionship, which with luck and time does lead to love . but this does not happen after 24 hours !!!!! yes henry you had a lucky escape , but unless you wake up and smell the coffee , i fear its going to happen to you again and again .

henrie look at the bright side it only cost you pocket money it did not empty your savings account
and it was a learning experience for both of you she wanted every thing to fast now who do you blame
IMO I think the blame lays at POPPA door step he could not wait but I do recommend you do NOT go back to this lady because the GREED is there I do agree with you about the children I see nothing wrong in you buying them some clothes & toys but do it only once and move on we all have a soft spot for children
especially for those who never will have any thing

I agree it was pocket money and you chose to spend it !Think about what your complete motivations were for doing this,then think about how you upset financisl equilibrium related to their style of living even if your motives were just to be a good guy!

You set up expectations for them and set yourself to be tested to probe your limits!You got tested and it p1ssed you off.You let poppa direct the whole thing obviously not understanding the Thai family dynamics and influence on her!

I also agree that this situation is ruined and you will always have a hassle if you let ''them'' back in!

Hopefully,next time you will take things much slower,get to know each other and set out your expectations and listen to hers!You must convince her that you are serious about a long term relationship instead of an ATM card!

You are going to have to give her something for her financial security while you are together.I would do it on a weekly basis which she gets to use anyway she sees fit !But make it clear that you are not making family loans from your remaining funds!

Bottomline,you need to maintain control until you are both comfortable enough to trust each other !

Henrie, I totally disagree with Saint: you did NOT leave your brains in Swampy, but just did what you wanted to do and did this straight and corrrectly.

It would be nice if I could understand your story completely, but the part with the 'blackmailing' escapes me. What did they need the money for?

> The went sitting in front of my house and also the matchmaker came. Now i knew why they needed the money for.

"Finders Fee" is my guess Techland
Thais' rarely do nothing for nothing...
TG tells me that the current rate is between 10,000 & 20,000 baht.
The 'greed' was undoubtedly on the match makers part, not wanting to wait for her fee.
Misunderstand, non explanation, are the words that spring to mind. Although calling the police was certainly a huge step too far.

BobHelm wrote:"Finders Fee" is my guess Techland
Thais' rarely do nothing for nothing...
TG tells me that the current rate is between 10,000 & 20,000 baht.
The 'greed' was undoubtedly on the match makers part, not wanting to wait for her fee.
Misunderstand, non explanation, are the words that spring to mind. Although calling the police was certainly a huge step too far.

I would think you are correct there Bob. Many of the internet shop owners are charging the girls playing Love Links etc.An exorbitant sum upon introduction to a "punter", merely for doing a little translation of the correspondence.
Some , as much as 60/80,000bht.

Has a ring of truth, local ladies here charge an average of £30,000 plus any photos or translation

People actually meet other people on the internet and after a 20 minute face-to-face introduction, a few bob under the table and (possibly) a quick "how's your father" in the spare room they think they are set for a life of domestic bliss with someone they can't even converse with???!!!

Shooting springs to mind.

I found this post so hard to follow.It is almost like reading the bible.Is that here, or her?

Actually My G/F is originated from TLL. Most on that site are liars...farangs included! Spoils it for the genuine sincere members.
My G/F (Now together two years) also had an intermediate as could not use computer.

When we met, She was not the same as the photo! Why? because there are places that make women look beautiful.They make them up, and set them up in photo salon. Clever! these ladies.
Like Henrie, I was asked for money.But It was just 3,000 baht. NOT 20,000!

As she did'nt pay the fee straight away, was calling her everyday.When she eventually told me I payed up.no problem!

As Tamada said, if you meet a few times on the Internet, and after 20 minutes of meeting are getting an offer you cannot (?) refuse and they hardly speak english - run, run run! Love is way down their list of needs.

Every one i actually met from internet could speak some english, enough for a simple conversation, at least. Have only been tempted twice after meeting, first time learnt a lot. The more patience you have, the more you talk, the more you learn; watch for inconsistencies in what they tell you and never flash too much cash. This will soon cull the desperate ones and obvious scammers. Remember, you are in a buyers market and another one is always available. Be honest if you really want a long term relationship (i suspect few men are honest on the net), if they think you are liar, they will only want your money or nothing. Be realistic; the younger, more beautiful ones will want the younger or richer men, or only money! I would say at least 50% of the ladies are reasonably honest; but that does not mean that they will not take you for all they can get if they feel you have let them down.

Finally, it is easy enough to meet girls here without the internet if you try, just takes a bit more effort and time. Be a good ambassador; if you cynically exploit the girls you only make every one elses life harder, Thai and farang, as bad experiences get more air time than good ones ( UdonMap proves that!).

So far that has worked for me.

I'm surprised that Craigslist has not yet become more popular in LOS.
It's free for cyrin' out loud!

szaj wrote:I'm surprised that Craigslist has not yet become more popular in LOS.
It's free for cyrin' out loud!

I just googled it to check,and it is available!2 nice girls posted already today,but they are looking for someone under 40 And yesterday a girl posted her ''resume'' for administrative asst. as she is looking for anyone that would like a tour guide for 300 baht /hour!