Just finished chatting to a very depressed local farang whose wife has called it quits and he had no idea.She is leaving without taking one Baht and said he can have everything,she wants nothing.No consolation as you can imagine.What did he do?He would drink every night and would shout at her.No more no less.It's not the first time i have heard this reason to go,so i thought i would post it up as something to think about as in our culture it's very common and not even a big thing in a relationship.

Marcus

He got what he deserved as far as I'm concerned.

Gary

is he big and intimidating ? not surprised she scooted.

businessman wrote:Just finished chatting to a very depressed local farang whose wife has called it quits and he had no idea.She is leaving without taking one Baht and said he can have everything,she wants nothing.No consolation as you can imagine.What did he do?He would drink every night and would shout at her.No more no less.It's not the first time i have heard this reason to go,so i thought i would post it up as something to think about as in our culture it's very common and not even a big thing in a relationship.

Marcus

Mark
Agree entirely from personal experience posted elsewhere. And my sister in law would, I am told by her when she arrived crying at the house one late evening, have long ago left her (Thai) husband for exactly the same reason if they did not have an early teenage daughter. He is absolutely fine and very pleasant with me, but he does like a drink of a night (Or 10, I've been out in Udon with him ), behind closed doors who knows....

Gary...my thoughts entirely...anybody who wants to scare and behave like a drink fuelled idiot with the generally small framed,reserved and unconfrontational Thai ladies,deserves it. Good for her.

Big and intimidating is neither here nor there...they just lose respect. And who anywhere in the world wants a husband/wife they do not respect?

businessman wrote:in our culture it's very common and not even a big thing in a relationship.

This I have to agree with, all in all it has to be one of the biggest differences that farangs that become involved with a thai have to accept.

It still makes me laugh at the way my wife tries to understand the girls she works with, all she hears every day is stories about the other girl's having major bust ups with their hubbies, boyfriends or partners...some of which do really come to blows.

She just cannot get her head around western relationships, which I am quite pleased about I hasten to add.

Bottom line, sounds like the guy got his come uppance...

Businessman, thats not just a culture thing. The statistics in UK divorce, not with Thais, reveal drunkeness, coupled with violence is the major contributory factor, more so than adultery. Apparently, women can accept a man being unfaithful but cannot tolerate drunken violence. The biggest concern, when they have young kids.The worrying thing is boys from homes where drinking and physical abuse occurs are more likely to become abusers themselves when they grow up.A vicious circle.

businessman wrote:He would drink every night and would shout at her. -------- in our culture it's very common and not even a big thing in a relationship.

Marcus

I tend to disagree with this statement, not many farang relationships would last under those conditions unless she was a real hard case.
The thing I find interesting is the fact that the woman didn't take anything. He must have realy pissed her off.
A happier life to her and I hope he has learnt something ---- or is he just another looser adrift in the 'twilight zone' we call Isaan.

If he was drinking that much, perhaps nothing to take except empty bottles!!!

Maybe i have been away from the UK so long my memory is selective,but i'm sure it was common for people to shout at each other and as long as there was no physical violence,all was well the next day.Here i would not dream of raising my voice to an adult,only the kids when they are driving me nuts.

Well Business man, it must have been a long, long time. violence in marriage is now so common that councils have an obligation to provide sheltered housing for battered wives and families.When I worked with the Samaritans every night by 23.00hrs they were all full.

valentine wrote:Well Business man, it must have been a long, long time. violence in marriage is now so common that councils have an obligation to provide sheltered housing for battered wives and families.When I worked with the Samaritans every night by 23.00hrs they were all full.

I don't think there was a suggestion of physical violence if that was what you meant Val (and, yes, shouting and intimidating behaviour is violence too) This does not IMHO change the validity of Mark's original point...and this is my personal experience too...Thai ladies will not tolerate it for long periods of time, and why should they?

Given that some people here have made postings about how shocked they were about their TW/TG kicking off a bit, and this is not intended to downplay their experiences, it hardly seems surprising that she got out of there under those circumstances. Not wanting one baht does not surprise me either, they are not all gougers. She just wanted a better life surely?

Perhaps a new thread named Farang:Warning Signs, with 1 being "Drinks non socially and is inclined to violent outbursts" would be playing fair to the lady posters here???

John

The guy i referred to was a serial shouter and got what was coming his way.I was trying to highlight the fact that it is a huge no-no in Thai culture to raise ones voice to someone,be it wife or relative or neighbour.