I have been married 2 times to a Thai lady.And have found them to be fine untill they have a child.Both times have had a child and they have changed within 3 months of the child being born.I would like to know if anyone has experienced the same.

In what way did they change?

do you mean more mental than they was before or the other way round. ?









disclaimer : i mean it in a nice light-hearted way, before anyone has a go about the use of the term "mental" .

They seem to think that they can control you.Like they tend to us the child against you to get what they want.

ahhh yes ....... can be like that at times, but i figure thats all women.

I have been told that a isarn lady 25 years old has the mentality of a 15 year old.They lack comen sence.After 15 years of Thai women i think they are all very stupid people.And are un change able.

I don't agree.

Women are testing men all the time. They challenge you to take charge of the situation.
If you don't, and you let them take control, then they will see you as a wuss and walk all over you, start to cheat on you etc.

It's just like classical dancing. The man leads.
If the man lets the woman lead, then he starts to get problems.

I think that Isan women are more intelligent than they let you believe.

And there was me thinking that they will bear a child to a farang only to secure your pension once you have died but in the meantime they need to drain your longtime savings.
Maybe it is just the catholic thing not take precautions or were you both as fully committed to bringing a child into this world.

In the past I have seen some men change after their child was born.
Suddenly they were not the most important person in the relationship anymore, they became jealous of the child, because the child got all the attention.
They started to act differently.

I believe that there are many that once they have the child or the house,they feel empowered because their security needs have been addressed!Therefore they assert themselves more.I am not saying this is good or bad,but depends on the relationship,how it plays out!
IMO,90% of the relationships between the falang and his Thai partner are based on security needs of the Thai woman!If she has grown to love you or if she has the character to want to fulfill her commitment to you,you will work it out as partners!

Otherwise,it is the beginning of the end!Your power over her has been diminished and she has many more options!If your relationship has not grown in mutual respect and understanding,she may want to use whats left of her youth to find a richer or more compatible partner!

So if you treat your gal as a servant,sex slave etc. because you have the money,there is a good chance that now she will start acting out!

hey carpy, well i can't speak from experience, but i can speak on how i see my friends relationship. i have one set of friends, been married for several years and have one beautiful child. i must admit i have never seen two people happier in their marriage. they share everything and are extremely happy and never seem to have any problems. i know that there are always expections to the rule, but i can't imagine them ever fighting nor her trying to put pressure on him for anything. now, on the other hand, i have other friends that since their child was born it has been one fight after another. i am not sure who is to blame, but it takes two to tango and two to fight. i have been told the same as you that the Issen girls only want your money and then child for pension, not sure about that. i myself am happily married, with the same bumps and turmoil as most, but believe me, WOULD NOT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY . if you get a good one, then you are set for life, choose poorly, and then life can take on a whole new meaning of pain and discomfort. best of luck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women are the same everywhere in the world. It's still important to find a "good one" in Thailand.

carpy wrote:I have been told that a isarn lady 25 years old has the mentality of a 15 year old.They lack comen sence.After 15 years of Thai women i think they are all very stupid people.And are un change able.

I am sorry carpy, I have to disagree with you, to classify "All Thai women as very stupid people" , is to say the least very, demeaning, yes, there are, as you put it, some stupid Thai women, as there is with any other race, but there is also some very intelligent and highly educated Thai women.

Just because, some ladies are less educated, does not mean that they are stupid.

The vast majority of Expats I have had the pleasue of meeting since settling in Udon, have settled down with Thai women that are charming, good conversationalists,and certainly NOT STUPID!.

Why don't you come along to one of the Forum get to-gethers on the first saturday of any month, and meet some of the many NON STUPID LADIES, that some of us have been lucky enough to have met.

Well said Ralph... If anything is stupid it is generalisations about ANY nationality or race.

I had a girlfriend from Nhong Kai for many years. The relationship "ended", but fortunately we remained very good friends. She is now in London and I am in Perth, WA, but we are in regular contact. I suspect we will end up together in Udon one day in the future.

I ended the relationship because she wanted chilren and I did not (I feel too old for any more kids). I was not prepared to maintain a relationship whereby she would remain childless - I thought this would become an issue eventually.

In any case, I found this woman to be lovely, but very immature, as I find many Thai women. I would class her as a "simple farm girl", but not simple minded, just very uncomplicated and with little formal education.

But she had a mind that was sharp as a razor, and could pick up and develop complex issues, if given information and time. I think it a great mistake to classify Issan women as stupid. I think they are simply lacking education and their world view reflects this.

It is the "uncomplcated" manner that I love, but I found that "educating" a Thai woman enhanced the realtionship.

In many cases I have found that an Issan womans intuitive grasp of a situation is superior to my intellectual understanding.

They "feel", we "think".