I will go to Nong Khai on a visa run soon, maybe 4 days, and I wanna know what is the best bar? Met a few peops who said ice bar or nong bar? Heard of Brendan's too but is it rough? Apparently there are other bars like apple, beer belly, outback but no news here on them. What is 'THE LIST'?

What do I want?

1: Cheapo beer
2: No trouble with old men from Europe
3: Nice women, Asian or white and I am not sexist, sizist or racist but I don't do fat
4: A bite to eat
5: Conversation which stops at the 5th beer and is forgotten
6: Nice women
7: No people laffing at me when I walk in the bar with the same woman two days in a row
8: Nice women

If there is a decent place to stay within a fart's smell of those bars then woohoo.

Things I don't want

1: Agro
2: Twats in hats
3: Pool sharks
4: Alcoholics who pretend they are in recovery
5: Fat broads (sorry I don't do em)
6: Married chicks or chicks in a relationship
7: Canadians with little flags on their back packs

But, seriously folks. Need some decent suggestions.

Thxs

Willy