Does she care?

Author: **lynxlynx** » December 10, 2007, 3:30 am

I am often wondering whether your TWs or TGs know about the existence of this forum.

Do they care to know what you are writing about?
Do you hide it from them?
Do they care in general to find out what is the farang's point of view?
Do they ever make an effort to understand it?
Do they care whether you are internally happy and content with your life beyond the very basic material and carnal stuff?

:-k

Author: **Maligator** » December 10, 2007, 4:12 am

1. No, not really. She asks on what I'm reading 'bout, but thats it.
2. No.
3. Limited on this one. Depends on the subject. Not to much though.
4. Hard to say. Sometimes it takes to long to "translate" it for her, by that time it has been several hours of this... ](*,)

5. I think she really does. I think my happiness is her major concern. That is why I married her. She puts me before anything else in her life, including her parents and brothers and sisters...another reason I will always be with her.

I got very, very, very lucky finding her. I thank Buddha everyday for her. [-o<

For her to put up with a *ickhead like me, I try to make her life wonderful all the time.
( and it has never been a problem in the fact that her family is one of the largest liquor distributors in Th, wealthy, and love me to death. )
She left yesterday to fly back and should be landing in Swampy as I write this.
Maybe I just am feeling sorry for myself right now and I'm still hung over from the going home party. :mrgreen:

Author: **wazza** » December 10, 2007, 4:15 am

Well i suppose Udon Girl knows everything that Val writes.

Author: **Tilokarat** » December 10, 2007, 4:34 am

First of all, you might ask yourself how many of us are aware of the Thai language forums, and how often we visit to see the issues that are important to them. Unless they are well-versed in English, it will be a time wasting struggle to try and understand every little confusing nuance and idea that pops into the head of a male farang on forums like this. For example, can you really imagine them wasting their time on that thread about the towers in New York?

And do these forums really represent the best in farang thought, inspiration and motivation? Some of the bickering that goes on between respondents might lower their estimation of farangs or underline the fact that farangs really are an inferior form of species. The few times my friend has spent some time looking at topics in this and Thaivisa she has concluded that we are silly, back-stabbing, conniving wretches that are more concerned with trying to prove that farangs and their culture is superior to that of Thais. Of course, this view is skewed because most of the threads she has looked at focus on farang-Thai relationships or at write-ups praising farang restaurants that she thinks are too expensive.

So my friend knows about this site and ThaiVisa, but she prefers Thai language sites when she has the time. Remember most Thais work seven days a week and the ladies usually have household duties as well as children to look after.

You might be surprised about how much Thai women actually do comprehend life, and the way to live it in comparision to many of us. While it is true the Thai ladies will devote much attention to shopping and financial matters that seem trivial to some men, the ladies are often mystified how we can waste so much time on things that do nothing for our lives such as sports. Fun to watch, but in the end, what use is it? I hear this question quite often: 'what good does it do for your life and mine?'?

This may not answer any of your questions, but I suppose unless we are bouncing off the walls, the ladies can presume that we are reasonably content.

But your thread does get me wondering if I am paying enough attention to her and listening and understanding what she is all about. How much do I really value her as a person? Do I keep my word, do I project credibility and trust, am I acting in a responsible manner? If problems arise, do I ask how I contributed to the problem or do I try to find fault with her, and do I always look at issues as right or wrong. Geez. How do they put up with farangs?!?

Author: **Maligator** » December 10, 2007, 5:01 am

But your thread does get me wondering if I am paying enough attention to her and listening and understanding what she is all about. How much do I really value her as a person? Do I keep my word, do I project credibility and trust, am I acting in a responsible manner? If problems arise, do I ask how I contributed to the problem or do I try to find fault with her, and do I always look at issues as right or wrong

Since I wrote my response, I also have been sitting here reflecting on what a pompus ass I can be with her. I get frustrated alot because of arrogance on my part because I do not take the time to understand it through her eyes, as a Thai. I well, my little pea sized brain, always assumes it should be in the way I see the world.
I am now going to change.
Not that I'm a bad husband, quite the contrary...I just need to see it more from her perspective.
More than I have.
Kawp koon krap for your post. I mean it.

and she just called from home...having arrived safely.

Author: **lynxlynx** » December 10, 2007, 5:11 am

5. I think she really does. I think my happiness is her major concern. That is why I married her. She puts me before anything else in her life, including her parents and brothers and sisters...another reason I will always be with her.

Sounds like you have a winner there. They are hard to come by these days.

because I do not take the time to understand it through her eyes, as a Thai.

They don't exactly make it easy to understand them, do they?

I hear this question quite often: 'what good does it do for your life and mine?'?

Adds a new dimension, variety, helps us to refocus and enjoy ourselves?

But your thread does get me wondering if I am paying enough attention to her and listening and understanding what she is all about.

Glad it was good for something

I really wish I could understand them better. It's so hard to know what's going on in these little heads and ithere is no telling in their "can't-see-through-eyes".

Author: **Tilokarat** » December 10, 2007, 5:50 am

Baw pen yang (mai pen rai) Maligator.

If a person can not understand signals from their partner either they have a listening problem or they are not taking the time to understand the other person in their lives. It really is easy to know what is going on in their minds and to see through their eyes. Listen. Watch. Understand.

I was informed very early on that I had a listening problem and did not understand her properly - 'baw hu liang' (do not understand me). This verdict was dismissed until the criticism re-appeared. Well, well, it turns out she was right after all. I now have the signals straight and can tell through eye contact and body language if I am understanding her needs or not. It was all a matter of trying and, as Maligator suggests, seeing things from her perspective. As for me, she has no problem understanding my simple needs and wishes.

Author: **lynxlynx** » December 10, 2007, 6:08 am

Tilokarat wrote:If a person can not understand signals from their partner either they have a listening problem or they are not taking the time to understand the other person in their lives. It really is easy to know what is going on in their minds and to see through their eyes. Listen. Watch. Understand.

I liked your first post but now you are entertaining. We probably talk about different issues of which yours are very elementary matters ...

Author: **Bump** » December 10, 2007, 11:57 am

No we donlt understand eachothre but then I haev nevre understood women no mattter how hard I try. So I settle for enjoying the differences between us.

How boring life would be if we were just exactly alike. She makes her views very clear on issues that really matter. She likes Smackdown and I like the UFC SO!!!!!!!!! :lol:

She like Thai Soaps I like sitcoms so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

She takes care of Budha, nothing to say about that except if it gives her purpose and contentment in life I'm happy.

Sometimes she does not recognize what I believe is very in important in life, I'm sure I return the favor in many ways SO !!!!!!!!!! :lol:

Hey we get along 95% of the tiem tens to enjoy doing things together. I have no leash around my neck adn nither does she. We can be apart as much either one of wants to be, Doesn't happen much so must like what we have.

Does she read the forum I don't care on way or another, I've learned not to post anything that could harm my realtionhip here.

I Will I explian it to her detail heck no she doesn't explain Thai things to me in detail either SO!!!!! :lol:

Although for the most part I enjoy the forum, thats because I now have the time to so. When I was working I doubt I would spend 30 Mins a week on it if that much. Do we stab eachother in the back I thinks so but not just on the forum.

This is a great place to research life here it's also a great place to unload. I try not to debate I don't like getting angry.

Does my wife understand it why should she a lot of the times I don't understand it.

Do I worry if Thai's or my wife understand me, not much i have tried to give up on that and just be myself. Heck trying to understand myself is a big enough job. :oops:

Author: **bunternut** » December 11, 2007, 7:55 pm

lynxlynx wrote:I am often wondering whether your TWs or TGs know about the existence of this forum.

Do they care to know what you are writing about?
Do you hide it from them?
Do they care in general to find out what is the farang's point of view?
Do they ever make an effort to understand it?
Do they care whether you are internally happy and content with your life beyond the very basic material and carnal stuff?

NO

Does she care?

Does she care?

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