Money,money,money!2M house,''respect''??See what happens when they say no/we can not/we don't want to!

The ''merit making'' ceremonies will increase in number and of course,'the bigger the gift,the greater the merit!


There are some out there that say''when in Rome,do as the Romans''.The real ''Rome''ceases to exist when the falang enters the village.
I have met a few that actually reached a perceived ''emperor'' status.Some have forgot about the ''senate'' and others believe they have the ''loving '' support of the ''senate'' and the populace!Hope his ''treasury'' is sufficient to maintain his status!

The falangs that believe this is respect, are they same ones that believe,she ''fell in love'' and the family thinks of him as a ''real family''member!
Of course this is generalization!There are always ''the few'' that are different!Chok Dee

so now its about how they meet us, I wonder just who it was they talked to



SPECIAL
Isaan's not ready for the worldwide wooing on the Web

All but a few local women met foreign hubbies the old way


Only about 4 per cent of women in the Northeast of Thailand with Western husbands met them over the Internet, despite the explosion of the world wide web, a brief study has found.


Most of the women first came into contact with their spouses at their work places or entertainment venues, the study by Asst Professor Supawatanakorn Wongthanawasu of Khon Kaen University found.


Supawatanakorn, of the university's Faculty of Nursing, said most of those who met their husbands over the Internet had university degrees and careers and were mainly interest in marrying foreign men.


The information was part of an ongoing study of the cultural impact of Thai-Western marriages in the region.


Supawatanakorn interviewed 231 Thai wives in Khon Kaen, Udon Thani and Roi Et. She found about 60 per cent had met their future husbands at workplaces or entertainment venues, about 20 per cent via mutual friends and 17 per cent through relatives, most of whom were married to foreigners.


Among the first group, Supawatanakorn cited the case of 28-year-old Khon Kaen native Boonsom, whose Thai husband had left her and their one-month-old child. Boonsom had worked in Pattaya as a bar girl for nearly a year when she met her German future husband, who asked her to quit the job and bought her a house there.


The couple later visited her family and bought another house in Khon Kaen, renting out the Pattaya house. Her husband goes back to Germany to work for three months each year to earn money for Boonsom.


Supawatanakorn said the 4 per cent of women who met their Western partners via the Internet and matchmaking services were an interesting group because they were single and most were well educated and had good careers.


One woman, Kay, has a bachelors degree and works for an educational institute. She met her husband on the website Italiandating.com. She had to post her photo and personal information such as age, educational background, job, personality, hobby and preferred qualifications of a partner.


Kay specified that she preferred his age to be around 25-39 and he must be rich. Since she was a single woman, Kay could post her information for free while women who were divorced had to pay the webmaster a Bt699 fee.


After the photo and information was posted, the female user received a membership code in Italian. Whenever a foreign man became interested in a Thai member, he could contact them via e-mail only. When ready to take the next step in the relationship the man would have to pay US$200 (Bt7,300) which allowed the exchange of telephone numbers or postal addresses.


Kay was in contact with one of her correspondents, who owned a restaurant in Bangkok, for two months before they became serious and later got married.


"Cross-cultural matchmaking services via electronic means receive a lot of attention and have become widespread, as seen from advertisements of such services in the media," Supawatanakorn said, adding the study found many matchmakers were also married to foreigners.


She cited the case of Khon Kaen resident Somporn who was married to a Briton and opened a company providing matchmaking services to about 100 women - each paid her a Bt20,000 membership fee - and many had already succeed in marrying foreigners.


The study found that about 80 per cent of the women chose their partners solely on their own intuition, while 11 per cent were influenced by parents, 7 per cent by friends and 1 per cent by their children from a previous marriage.


Meanwhile, 52 per cent said there was no formal marriage proposal from the would-be husband to their families, while 51 per cent had no wedding ceremony.


Supawatanakorn said 56 per cent registered their marriages and the rest did not. Seventy-four per cent had not had children with their foreign husbands, 17 per cent had one kid, 5 per cent had two children and 1 per cent had more than two kids.

Sumalee Phopayak


The Nation


KHON KAEN

hi i am a fan of the forum, and learn some handy things off the site.

i dont contribute much as most of the members are more experienced in udon life than me.

but these surveys always, gripe me, as always the bargirl meets farang sceneario seems to rate first mention.

uneducated issan peasant girls previously married, it always seems to follow that path.

i am married to a girl, who meets the criteria of the surveys so called 4%.

so little time is ever given to the views of these relationships between people, of what are similar social status backgrounds, but of course allowing for differences in western/developed assets/income in comparison to thai/undeveloped assets/income.

fun2have,I am assuming that since your relationship fits the ''4%'' group ,you met your wife through the internet,she was single and had a good career as do you!
So her focus was finding a foreign husband and your focus was finding a foreign wife!
I would guess that the reason that there is not much discussion about this type of marriage,is that it probably is 4% or LESS of the Thai/falang relationships!Especially the marriages that are residing in Thailand.
As you say you don't post to much as we may be more experienced!You would be the person that has experience within the ''4%'' group and therefore could enlighten us with your input!
I would not be surprised to find that some of the problems and benefits that you experience,are similar to those that we experience!Or maybe ,you could share the differences that you find ,compared to what we share about our experiences!
I hope you are happy in your relationship,and wish you ''good stuff''

Wow!What a surprise Most Isaan girls that don't speak English,no ''real'' formal education and remain in Isaan, don't use the internet to meet future husbands or boyfriends!
Another survey for purposes of filling space!

Until they have the expertise and means,it is obvious that it can't happen!

I wouldn't put any stock in most polls or surveyed done in Thailand with Thais as the responders!To much ''face'' involved to get honest answers!

BKKSTAN wrote:I wouldn't put any stock in most polls or surveyed done in Thailand with Thais as the responders!To much ''face'' involved to get honest answers!

Indeed. So 51% aren't really married, but the topic was how Isaan girls met their hubbies.

I notice sin sodt wasn't mentioned. Maybe if it had been they would all have admitted to 1 million baht.

I read the first post by Lee and the quoted article in the Nation. What can we expect from a survery of only 12 Thai women? The 'unknown' author goes on the say "Most of the women married to Western men had been married before". He couldn't even explore the survey to give us a number?

I did find it interesting however, and realize he has to write something in order to keep his job.

The 2nd survey mentioned by Skipvice was one I think I have read before. At least it interviewed 231 and was much more statistic oriented.

The title of this post is "Foreign husbands pay off for Thais" And yes this is usually true. But perhaps no more true that a well-to-do Thai coming into the family. But perhaps the family has to be a bit more discreet about talking about it, while the husband is sitting there. When the farang cannot understand a word of Thai, can we assume they are smiling for a different reason than being happy that their daughter has finally found true love?

Interesting reading but total nonsense. Earlier this week I was in a meeting with the Govt Minister for Social Welfare. They are doing their own departmental survey on the implications of Farangs and Thai women marriages. This concern is because their own statistics show that the majority of these partnerships have moved well away from the traditional image of farang/bargirl , and now show women from all social economic groups are prefering to marry a man of western origin.The figures I was given indicate over 500,000 mixed marriages have been recorded through the official marriage register up to December 2005.This does not take into account the many religous ceremonies that take place and are not included in the statistics.It was mentioned however that the majority of these were likely to be families from the lower end of the social scale as the importance of a legally binding contract was not so apparent to them. For example. The wife was unlikely to work in an occupation which carried social benefits such as retirement pay out and medical care. Whilst the farang husband didn't seem concerned about his Thai wife being eligble for benefits accrued from his own countries employment.Not included also were the many couples that have married abroad as there is no requirement for the woman to register that here in Thailand.
The Ministers concerns were mainly the social impact on Thai society in the future and the well being of the women marrying.When I asked if the feeling of Thai society in general was these mixed marriages were
welcomed. I received a very firm positive reply. They are viewed mostly as welcome and are actively encouraged by her department, but she was aware that many fail in a short space of time and this is of concern to her and other government departments.What help can they give that will improve the success rate.Hence her visit and research in the field.
From that point on we discussed the problems of being in a mixed marriage. Whilst her initial concern was from the viewpoint of the wife I managed to indicate that the farang husband also has justifiable concerns.
When pressed, I brought up the visa situation.Although married and providing sometimes , not only for the wife but children as well, we have absolutely no security of tenure about our stay in Thailand.We only get , after meeting rigorous requirements, permission to stay(visa) for a maximum of one year and have to be concerned every time we renew, will I be able to stay? It is a worry for both partners in the marriage and a possible cause of conflict. I also mentioned the requirement to sign on every 90 days, although not a problem to do, did create a feeling that we were not really accepted in our role of providers for wife and family.
When asked for my recommmendations I suggested. An initial one year visa upon marriage, time enough to ensure its legality and its purpose, after which, a three year extension which, subject to normal checks, would lead to citizenship status at the end of this term.This could only be beneficial to both partners of the marriage and lead to greater harmony and security for both.
The second issue I raised being of concern, was house ownership.
Currently we can spend a lot of money buying a place to live for our Thai families but without any security for ourselves, having to record the property in the wifes name. This sometimes leads to a feeling of distrust on the farangs part and if he uses any of the alternative ways round the problem, a feeling on the wifes part that she is not really loved or trusted.It also is of concern that many unscrupolous women have taken advantage of this law to sell for personal gain, the family home during the farangs absence. My recommendation was if this law was amended to allow joint ownership, then another source of potential disharmony would be removed.After all, even if we leave Thailand, we can't take the land with us, so doesn't compromise the status of the land , it will always be there.
Much to my amazement the minister wasn't aware of either concern.Truly believing that the only worry would be for the Thai wife.
As a consequence of this discussion I have been invited to address a meeting to be held in the New Year, of all concerned goverment department heads to be held in Bangkok. So at last , someone is listening.
If any one on the forum knows of any other items of general concern to us married farangs ,they think would be suitable for me to raise, please let me know. Please no individual problems, but things that affect each and everyone of us.
Atached photo of the Director General . Ministry of Social Welfare and myself in earnest discussion at my house this week.

Congratulations. What brand of scotch do you drink.

I feel so relieved to read your post, being on the sidelines O/S... I hope you can make some inroads in this area as these problems have been a source of concern to me for some time. Although I do not live there yet I have the desire to live in LOS as soon as I can make possible.

If you dont drink scotch I would love to buy you a beer [ or two ]. you dont realise how much you have lifted my hopes of a life in LOS.

Thanks Gozzo. While I am always up for a free pint, I think it's a little premature to celebrate. As I said ,at last a door is open and some are prepared to listen. That in itself is a major step in how things work here in Thailand. It is possible if anything does come from this that I may not be alive to reap the benefit personally, but as the wise men say. You plant a tree not for your own shady spot, but for those that come after you.

Well done Val for putting your point across, I'm also amazed that the Director General did not have any idea of our concerns.

I owe your a beer!!!!

Sounds like you cover the bases quite well Val.Thanks for doing it and thanks for letting us know!

Great job Val,
hope you can push some things through the bureaucratic system.
Thanks for sticking out for us!!!

The number of 500,000 should be taken with caution. That number would include Chinese-Thai which are the most common marriage.