How much can you tolerate?

Nobody llikes to be lied to, or have things used without permission.

I am on a near 0 tolerance, and have given many warnings to the GF.

Just curious?

wilson_smith wrote:How much can you tolerate?

Nobody llikes to be lied to, or have things used without permission.

I am on a near 0 tolerance, and have given many warnings to the GF.

Just curious?

Loads with my wife it comes with the badge as it were, mine lies all the time , and all i can do is try not to be over bothered, in fact stop asking questions also helps, old saying there somewhere, in fairness most/all the time she is lying to save me some heartache, she does what she does as it were, if it was lies about getting some of my dough well thats differant, but as she knows i dont have any, i dont have that problem, i guess it boils down to why are they telling a particular lie.

At the end of the day if it gets too much I will walk away, not easy, but its true, as David Niven said about Errol Flyn, " knowing Erroll would always lie and let me down made him the most trustworty friend I had " I know i used that before somewhere but it really is so relevant to my realationship and by the sound of it others

As to using things without permission remember Thai women IMHO believe whats yours is thiers and whats thiers is thier own

I guess that really depends, yes honey I turned the water off. Oh no he is my cousin not my bofriend

Everyone shades the truth to ome extent yes honey your new hair style looks great. No you haven't aged a minute in the last fity years. Oh no your not heavy.

Serious things that can cause problems probably not a good deal.

I only have caught my wife in one in four years she thought she could handle a probelm without telling me about it. She really didnt lie she just avoided letting me know about it. But it could have been a real problem for her later on. It would not have effected me at all. But once she came claen then I could help her with it.

She was afraid I was going to get angry and she was right. But whats five minutes of anger compared to a life time of misery down line.

It's hard to acomplish much in life in a marriage without honesty.

How much is to much that really depends on the person being lied to. Trust is very hard to get and easily destroyed.

Things without permision marriage is different not much is personal property around.

I didn't like ti whe she loaned my drill to he girlfriends husband, not because it was loaned but I only found out after the fact, truht is I would gave it to them as well.

TV remote now we go something to talk about

Personally would find it very difficult to live with someone I didn't trust. I dont trust anyone who constantly lies, but thats just me.

Without honesty there is no trust. Just the plain hard facts.

Do Thais lie, I think no more than any one else. As Ray said above do we just avoid saying what needs to be said or just sidestep, I think so.

Ask a Thai a question and getting a straight answer is quite difficult. This is true especially if you might have conflict. The same is true if something needs to be said but it might cause conflict, then a lesson in sidestepping will occur. In my way of speaking, "beating around the bush."

Is the Thai way wrong or is the western way wrong. The answer is neither is wrong. Just a different way of going to the dance.

wilson_smith wrote:How much can you tolerate?

Nobody llikes to be lied to, or have things used without permission.

I am on a near 0 tolerance, and have given many warnings to the GF.

Just curious?

Hmm, difficult one.

It took me quite a while to convince my GF that her lying about important issues causes more anger on my part than the actual facts she was trying to conceal. An argument solved nothing. Patient and soft spoken explanation was more fruitful.

However, you cannot deprive her of the joy of telling many innocent white lies. She'd feel challenged if she could't tell some about 10 x a day.

In terms of private property - I can think only of 3 things I wouldn't let her use: my credit card, my notebook unless she logs in with the profile I created for her and my car (as she only knew how to drive automatic and even this was a frightening experience).

Her letting my stuff to other people w/out my permission would be a different matter and that's where I would drow the line. But she never did that.

AS IN TAKING THE HIGH ROAD, HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY

AND HAS ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME

the reason why I put up this topic was because the GF "borrowed" my laptop without my permission (she knows not to touch it) and used it to check her email, and falangs messaging her on thailovelinks.com

PASSWORD PROTECTING THE STARTUP OF THE COMPUTER USUALLY STOPS THAT

so does a keylogger and changing passwords for someones own good!

airdoc, please unlock your caps, it means shouting or screaming on message board ( I know you dont mean it!)

wilson_smith wrote:the reason why I put up this topic was because the GF "borrowed" my laptop without my permission (she knows not to touch it) and used it to check her email, and falangs messaging her on thailovelinks.com

Ouch! She is still chatting guys on TLL? I would dump my GF without a blink of an eye if she kept on doing this while in a relationship with me. No mercy here!

I would dump my GF without a blink of an eye if she kept on doing this while in a relationship with me. No mercy here!

I concur with Lynx
but I would kick her to the curb now.
Why is she still chatting on TLL when she has you? Have you noticed if her "income" has increased as of late??
Lies and deciet I reckon..

Her sh*t would already be outta my crib by now.

lynxlynx wrote:

wilson_smith wrote:the reason why I put up this topic was because the GF "borrowed" my laptop without my permission (she knows not to touch it) and used it to check her email, and falangs messaging her on thailovelinks.com

Ouch! She is still chatting guys on TLL? I would dump my GF without a blink of an eye if she kept on doing this while in a relationship with me. No mercy here!

Me too..sounds a little like she is keeping her options open and just to add these dating sites are full of surprises, still browsing them its an eye opener.

He must have been real important to her life to have to lie and use your com to talk to.I had this problem in my first relationship.Of course it ended because as she kept talking to them(friends,male only),she kept lieing about it!

wilson_smith wrote:the reason why I put up this topic was because the GF "borrowed" my laptop without my permission (she knows not to touch it) and used it to check her email, and falangs messaging her on thailovelinks.com

If this is not a windup then....to put it quite bluntly......you're a fool.

She's not your GF; you're just her 'temporary' sponser until she finds someone better on TLL.

Of course, if the horizontal bop is good and you don't care that she's using you then stay the course. Once she dumps you just find another; there's plenty around.

ooooo, I can only say, speaking from personal experience, if something just doesn't feel right or add up, then something is almost certainly wrong somewhere. It's the open-ness you look for. If that's lacking or there are excuses when you ask a question, then you can bet your boots there's something amiss!
If she's still on TLL or another (Date in Asia etc) then she's still looking without a doubt. Forget all the - "my friends and I chat on there" - heard it all before. I would get rid in a heartbeat. Ask her for her password to you can look at her account if you want. Nothing to hide? you'll get the password. Mobile phone sms's? If she's nothing to hide, you're welcome to look. Mind you, watch out for the "other" mobile that may be hanging around for special sms's! Thai ladies can be very inventive and it's hard to break a habit of looking on TLL, contacting someone - hey, how many of us have done the same even after we've met someone? But before you go down the road of asking for information, check your own stuff. And yes I know without trust there's nothing, but there's also protecting your *ss, particularly after you've experienced TGF tricks.

Cheers
Phil