I don't know if this is the best section to post this into, but I will explain...

I'm not new to Thailand. I've been coming here for nearly five years and I've been living here for well over a year. I've had two steady relationships.

I've been with my new girlfiend for seven months or so. She was a Bangkok karaoke bar girl and she gave it up to come to live with me permanently. We are together all the time. We're quite happy and have never really had a quarrel. I started giving her quite a bit of money each month but more recently I've had pressures on my finances, and some home maintenance to pay for, and therefore haven't given her anything for three months. She never 'wants' for anything however and I always get her anything she needs.

I have never met her father who lives in Udon Thani, but she's just told me that he wants to get the job of village "headman" or "Kamnan" in his local area and that he needs 40,000 baht in order to do it.

I simply want to know if this story is likely to be true or not. Why would he need this amount money? He is also an uneducated man, who farms, or at least tries to scrape a living as a farmer.

I've known about this politcal role before, but I was shocked to hear that it requires this sum of money. Basically I like my girlfriend a lot and she doesn't give me too much to worry about, other than give me the 'clap' a couple of times, but that's another story. Her family has broken up, but her mother who lives in Bangkok is a very nice woman. I feel I can trust her mother, but from what my girlfriend tells me about the father, he is not an honourable man. She says she loves him but that he just wastes money on women all the time. Basically he's just a sad man with nothing, but only 46 years old.

I believe he is putting pressure on my girlfriend to send more money and that he's well aware that in the past she's worked as a prostitute. I find this impossible to swallow. I'm not nieve. I fell in love with my girlfriend within a few days of meeting her and I believe she is essentially a fairly good girl, although far from perfect. However, I find that the way in which many Thai parents can allow their daugters to sell their body, just to enable them to be lazy and avoid working, is completely uncivilised. I personally regard it is being lower than an animal. It's one of the things I dislike about Thailand. And I've heard about it so often that I can't agree these people are in the minority.

Anyway, getting back to my question, I have never met this man, and so therefore although I'd be happy to give him some money, I feel that it would have only been more polite for me to have had the opportunity to have meet him first.

I'd like to know, is it more likely that I'm being scammed, and that the 40,000 has nothing to do with this man getting the job of village headman?

I honestly don't think an uneducated man in rural Thailand would have the wherewithall to carry out his duties as kamnan anyway, so it would appear to be a waste of money. I've been reading about the role today and it is, in effect, a government official's post, although traditionally filled by a peasant villager. More recently the job seems to have been filled by a socially respected individual, such as a business owner, doctor, or similar professional. I can't see my girlfriend's father, with his reputation as a womaniser and drinker, as having the necessary respect from his community in order to fulfil this role.

But last night my girlfriend said she was leaving me, because she had to go back to work again in order to support him. She was crying about it and said that whenever he calls her, so always knows he's looking for money. She also has a young son in Bangkok and I feel that the father should respect her responsibilities as a mother.

Basically that's the bulk of the story. I'd appreciate a hint or two, so that I can say to my girlfriend that the kamnan job is a lie. Maybe I can get her to see that she need not support this loser of a man. If not, I guess we will have to part. But I want to get to the bottom of the story and give her a chance.

Sorry for the rambling, but I wanted to try to explain the situation as best as possible.

Where would an uneducated moronic parasite get 40,000 Baht? Ah of course send your daughter off to sell her Gemma Hussey. Pay the 40K and I will send you your diploma for the Water Buffalo University.

Need I say "More fish in the sea?"

Errrrrrr, bye bye Lek and take care of yourself.

It is just a pussy son... Get over it and move on.

Well yes, that's right. More fish in the sea. It's not her I have the problem with though - it's the father.

I know for a fact he's been after her for money, because yesterday he actually called my mobile phone as hers was off at the time. I got the rough details of what was being talked about - a few words of Thai and a few words of the Isaan. She had something on her mind all day and then in the evening she explained.

I should have walked away months ago, but... I don't know.

But I really do want to find out if the Kamnan's job requires a payment like that!

A little light reading for you: Tambon Administration Organisation

saamii wrote: I'm not nieve. I fell in love with my girlfriend within a few days of meeting her and I believe she is essentially a fairly good girl, although far from perfect. However, I find that the way in which many Thai parents can allow their daugters to sell their body, just to enable them to be lazy and avoid working, is completely uncivilised. I personally regard it is being lower than an animal. It's one of the things I dislike about Thailand. And I've heard about it so often that I can't agree these people are in the minority.

Somehow, this account does not ring true. Or it might just be the hostile attitude he has taken to the girl's father.

Presumably, the op met the lady in question in one of these places where daughters sell their bodies. If true, he might be imposing a double standard. He finds it completely uncivilised that a parent would send a daughter off to earn money this way, on the other hand, he does not mind meeting these women. Perhaps he is right that the parents are 'lower than animals' but how would he rate the people that frequent the establishments that employ these young ladies of whom, he might be one.

It would be naive to think the patrons of these establishments are any less animals than the parents that permit their daughters to work there so they can live the Life of Reilly (William Bendix) if that is the standard he is going to use to judge the parents. Under dire economic circumstances, or when the opportunity arises, one does not want to miss out on the main chance.

Of course, I might have it all wrong and he met the lady in an establishment that does not encourage their female workers to engage in friendly banter and other activities with their male patrons.

I do not think that the position of kamman has any restrictions that say no drinking, no women permitted, and to achieve that position might entail a certain amount of money reaching those that might be able to influence the result to the benefit of the man with the means to show that he is a generous man. In the village I lived in outside of Chiang Mai, the kamman got the position owing to his status as a man of influence and wealth in the village.

However, the previous kamnan had got the job as a result of his popularity. Unfortunately for him, he was one of the organisers of the Peasants Federation of Thailand in the 1970s and although he was one of the PFT leaders who was not gunned down (around 30 of them were killed), he did have to leave the village and live in Laos for a number of years.

You presume correctly that I met this girl in the karaoke bar, but I see nothing wrong in going to a bar with friends. I had no expectations of meeting a girl in there or of paying for sex and in fact in the few years of coming here I have never paid for sex. It isn't something I would be comfortable in doing. Anyway I feel no need to defend myself any further. I saw the girl both times my friends and I visited the bar and the way in which the relationship developed is strictly a matter for my conscience alone and nothing to do with you.

I'm sorry my view that many Thais seem to think it is acceptable for their daughters to sell themselves has annoyed you so much. I see that you obviously hold certain views about individuals who patronise prostitutes but you make the point about dire economic circumstance and in fact that often appears to me not to be the case. I think in my girlfriend's circumstances she was pressured by her father because prior to working in the bar she appears to have had a fairly good life and no problems other than those back home, which I don't believe were 'dire'. I think simply that she felt responsible for sending money to her father, particularly since he has used emotional blackmail, mentioning for instance that he supported her during childhood, and it was right she should now support him.

I simply want to find out how a kamnan would be regarded as being suitable for the role and where his costs might be incurred. It's clear to me that this man has forced her in that line of work. He knows it but he doesn't care. I can't accept this, and I would be surprised if anyone would, irrespective of whether or not I visited the girl's karaoke bar.

To become "Kamnann", my Thai wife tells me whom is sitting beside me, it involves an election!! So you cannot buy the "Title" , she also informs me the 40k baht might be for posters etc.

It is well known that many positions are bought and paid for throughout Thailand!But I doubt that any falang on a forum can definitely tell you the answer you say you are seeking as we are not privy to the Thai actions and absolutely not privy to the circumsatnces in this case.

IMO,Tilokarat is one of the most assimilated falangs in ''Thainess'' and I agree with his posts on this topic!

I would emphasize that you said you were not naive to the ways of Thailand,but you go to a pay for play venue,pay for sexual services,''fall in love'' with the servicer and now complain because your costs are escalating as she demands more and gives you excuses to justify your shelling out!

What is the difference what the excuses are,she is working you as a prostitute not as a parther,but you are not naive???NO??She is threatening to go back and sell herself to others unless you pay the fee!!And guess what,there will be plenty of more requests afterwards ,if you do pay,and they won't be getting smaller!

Personally,I believe that you have convinced her that you are ''a to smart falang''and she has come up with something different than ''the buffalo sick''excuse!

You choose to argue with the responses and state you ''simply want to know about the Kamman situation,yet you felt that you had to tell us her history to do so,so if this is not a ''windup'',IMO,you are rationalizing you non-naive behavior!

I bet you pay and pay and pay until you fall ''out of love''with her and look for another to ''fall in love''with

Irish Alan wrote:Where would an uneducated moronic parasite get 40,000 Baht? Ah of course send your daughter off to sell her Gemma Hussey. Pay the 40K and I will send you your diploma for the Water Buffalo University.

Need I say "More fish in the sea?"

Errrrrrr, bye bye Lek and take care of yourself.

It is just a pussy son... Get over it and move on.

Sam,

Alan's is the only advice you need.

saamii wrote:I don't know if this is the best section to post this into, but I will explain...

I'm not new to Thailand. I've been coming here for nearly five years and I've been living here for well over a year. I've had two steady relationships.

I've been with my new girlfiend for seven months or so. She was a Bangkok karaoke bar girl and she gave it up to come to live with me permanently. We are together all the time. We're quite happy and have never really had a quarrel. I started giving her quite a bit of money each month but more recently I've had pressures on my finances, and some home maintenance to pay for, and therefore haven't given her anything for three months. She never 'wants' for anything however and I always get her anything she needs.

I have never met her father who lives in Udon Thani, but she's just told me that he wants to get the job of village "headman" or "Kamnan" in his local area and that he needs 40,000 baht in order to do it.

I simply want to know if this story is likely to be true or not. Why would he need this amount money? He is also an uneducated man, who farms, or at least tries to scrape a living as a farmer.

I've known about this politcal role before, but I was shocked to hear that it requires this sum of money. Basically I like my girlfriend a lot and she doesn't give me too much to worry about, other than give me the 'clap' a couple of times, but that's another story. Her family has broken up, but her mother who lives in Bangkok is a very nice woman. I feel I can trust her mother, but from what my girlfriend tells me about the father, he is not an honourable man. She says she loves him but that he just wastes money on women all the time. Basically he's just a sad man with nothing, but only 46 years old.

I believe he is putting pressure on my girlfriend to send more money and that he's well aware that in the past she's worked as a prostitute. I find this impossible to swallow. I'm not nieve. I fell in love with my girlfriend within a few days of meeting her and I believe she is essentially a fairly good girl, although far from perfect. However, I find that the way in which many Thai parents can allow their daugters to sell their body, just to enable them to be lazy and avoid working, is completely uncivilised. I personally regard it is being lower than an animal. It's one of the things I dislike about Thailand. And I've heard about it so often that I can't agree these people are in the minority.

Anyway, getting back to my question, I have never met this man, and so therefore although I'd be happy to give him some money, I feel that it would have only been more polite for me to have had the opportunity to have meet him first.

I'd like to know, is it more likely that I'm being scammed, and that the 40,000 has nothing to do with this man getting the job of village headman?

I honestly don't think an uneducated man in rural Thailand would have the wherewithall to carry out his duties as kamnan anyway, so it would appear to be a waste of money. I've been reading about the role today and it is, in effect, a government official's post, although traditionally filled by a peasant villager. More recently the job seems to have been filled by a socially respected individual, such as a business owner, doctor, or similar professional. I can't see my girlfriend's father, with his reputation as a womaniser and drinker, as having the necessary respect from his community in order to fulfil this role.

But last night my girlfriend said she was leaving me, because she had to go back to work again in order to support him. She was crying about it and said that whenever he calls her, so always knows he's looking for money. She also has a young son in Bangkok and I feel that the father should respect her responsibilities as a mother.

Basically that's the bulk of the story. I'd appreciate a hint or two, so that I can say to my girlfriend that the kamnan job is a lie. Maybe I can get her to see that she need not support this loser of a man. If not, I guess we will have to part. But I want to get to the bottom of the story and give her a chance.

Sorry for the rambling, but I wanted to try to explain the situation as best as possible.

Mmm these long 1st post's in relationships..!! we do get em ...More fish in the sea..well this one smells a bit phishy, i am sure you can understand this saamii, we get this a lot on here.

Anyway...... how has he got your mobile number, you never met him, you not been to Udon, you like your girl enough to join up here and ask us all about your problem maybe we can solve it so you can stay together,, and you like her that much that you thought you would share the fact that she has given you the 'clap' a couple of times... she worked in a 'kareoke bar' and you went in there a few times,??? and you think these parents are un-civilised and lower than animals because they send their daughters out 'to work'...why support that and visit the bars they work in,...i see you explained that one already and its nothing to do with us anyway.!!,and how do you know what the father really does with his time...you never met him, you don't know him....you never been to Udon.

How about travelling up to Udon and visit the family home/village spend some time with him,I am very surprised your girl has not wanted to come home in the 7 months you have been together, she has no work commitments ..and remember "she loves him", its not easy to keep an Issan Girl away from home for too long.

Simply and directly put,BM Both the naive and non-naive should be able to get that one!

Now for the ''to smart'' man in denial,I am not sure because ''his GF is not the problem'',so it must be the anonymous father who seems to be in control of the OP's mind and actions! Maybe after the 40,000,they will need more for the runoff because he was yellow carded

Phishy is right. Do I smell a troll?

I will make no comment on the girl friend issue, other than to say I know a village kanman who is half way through his 4 year term of office and during that period he has upgraded his old pick up to a fairly new sportsrider, and says his daughter, who works in a hostess bar catering for Koreans, is paying for it. So the source of money is not an issue as far as the other villagers are concerned.
Now the proceedure is that maybe 3 names are put forward for election to the job. It does cost about 40,000bht each in expenses, which would include posters , leaflets and "entertaining". As only one will be elected, that normally leaves two with a debt. The lucky one will soon recoup his expenditure though. First he receives a monthly salary from the govt. The size of this depends on the population of the area under his jurisdiction, but currently about 30, 000bht per month average. He will also have a say in which contractors are awarded jobs in his area. So , it could be as Dellboy would say 'A nice little earner"
As the position is an elected one, it is doubtful the villagers would vote for a known layabout, but remember, what we would consider a drunken slob, might just be considered a great fun guy by his drinking companions, and they are the ones that vote.
If your T/g's father is elected he should be able to pay you back in very short time

If in any doubt about the issue you could ask the girlfriend to show you some of the election posters, they should have his photo on it.
Whatever, you have made an interesting new means of obtaining money apparent. Much preferable to the sick buffalo