Latest Developments in Udon Thani
By Dennis Walker © Udonmap.com April/June 2008 Magazine Issue 5

Udon Thani’s first pool league competition proved to be an outstanding success. The competition resulted in closer understanding and co-operation between the owners of those businesses taking part, as well as the formation of new friendships among the ex-pat community. Additional encouragement towards continuing and extending inter business activities was provided by the fact that other non-participating business owners were members of some of the competing teams; and still other proprietors frequently were to be seen, joining in the evening’s entertainment. The Aussie Pub, by virtue of being able to consistently field the same strong team every week, emerged as the champions, but the newly opened Englishman’s Retreat Guesthouse performed very well, to finish as runners-up. Sadly, according to all reports, the awards evening was a disappointment, culminating in some unpleasantness, and then dispute between members of the organizing committee. As a result, in the current atmosphere, it seems unlikely the new season will commence any time in the near future, if at all. My personal interpretation of the problem at the centre of the dispute is that it is philosophically based. One group sees the main aim of the competition as an opportunity for local ex-pats to socialize and make new friends, while competing seriously, but in a relaxed manner. The other group appears to take a much more serious view, in which the competition is the dominant and most important factor, with the social side a secondary consideration. One of the major areas of disagreement appears to be the proposal for a new set of rules of play, which are somewhat different to those traditionally played locally, and with which local players are comfortable...

It really would be in the interests of all concerned, the players and bar owners alike, if common sense prevailed and the disputing parties agreed to sit down together with open minds and, by negotiation and sensible compromise, reach an agreement acceptable to everyone. Perhaps one approach could be for each group to prepare a set of rules, identify the differences, then hold an open meeting incorporating all the players and take a vote on any rules in dispute. That’s called exercising democracy, and would avoid the current situation whereby all the players involved are deprived of evenings of pleasurable competition, and the bar owners of income, because of the intransigence of only two or three individuals. Come on you guys; please sort this out for the good of the local community – who are, after all, YOUR CUSTOMERS!

Darts? Having experienced the success enjoyed by the advent of the pool league, why not consider the introduction of a Darts League. A major attraction to the owners of local bars and restaurants is that they could provide dart-playing facilities at a fraction of the cost of a pool table, and which would also take up a fraction of the space of a pool table Any interested bar owners, give Sammy (Molly Malone’s) a call.

Embarassing Farangs. The proprietors of one or two business establishments in Udon Thani’s main shopping centres, in particular Robinsons and Big C, are less than happy with the adverse effects on their businesses, being caused by the objectionable behaviour of a very small minority of farangs. Despite advanced years, or receding hairlines, or fat bellies or over loud mouths, or being of scruffy unshaven appearance, or any combination of these “assets”, these self-delusional farangs insist upon constantly trying to ‘chat up’ both the female staff and female customers, totally indifferent to the obvious displeasure of their unfortunate targets. So, ‘if the cap fits’ (which you’ll be able to tell by whether this item is making you angry!), take a good look at yourself in the mirror; be realistic and display some respect towards your Udon Thani hosts. Believe me; they really don’t appreciate being publicly disrespected by you, whatever your egos may tell you. Your behaviour also reflects badly upon the very large number of ex-pats, myself included, who regularly enjoy meeting up and having a chat with other ex-pats over a drink , or reading the newspaper or even just browsing, in the many shopping centres. Why not consider saving your behaviour for where it belongs? Visit one of the many local girlie bars. There, provided you have the money, you will find girls in large numbers, only to willing to indulge you in your fantasy (and I do mean fantasy) of being young, handsome, irresistible, and desirable. Fortunately for you also, they won’t care about your total lack of style or class.

Indian Food arrives at Molly Malone’s. Sam & Am, having finally got the bar and restaurant up and running, following their recent takeover, are adding another dimension by the introduction of an Indian Food menu, on a trial basis. So, if you are into Indian food, go along and treat yourself, and at the same time thereby encourage Sam & Am to make the Indian Menu a permanent feature.

Rat of The Year. Hopefully none of my readers will have the misfortune to run foul of this outstanding specimen of low life. This is particularly so if, like him, you are from England. A local of my acquaintance, who I will call ‘Fred’, had been living here happily, with his Thai wife, for some years. His main source of income was monthly payments he received from an insurance company, arising out of an incapacitating accident in which he had been involved. Payments were assessed, and awarded, on the basis of a permanent incapacity, involving very restricted mobility. Upon learning of my Fred’s situation, this self righteous b……d, went to the considerable trouble of writing, and sending to the insurance company, full details of Fred’s whereabouts and current lifestyle. Result, when the unsuspecting Fred made his annual visit to the UK, he found himself under arrest for fraud, and there is no foreseeable prospect of his being able to return here to his wife and home. No doubt buoyed by his success, this obnoxious individual subsequently wrote to the English Inland Revenue and Social Security Departments, with the unrevealed financial details of another trusting ex-pat from England, working locally as an English Language teacher, who was receiving unemployment benefits, to which he was not legally entitled. He also possessed some accumulated financial assets, not known to aforesaid departments. This unfortunate is now also in the UK, devoid of his passport and facing some serious problems. Meantime, Udon’s smug self appointed keeper of morals happily (?) continues to enjoy the benefits of a Thai wife, a home and a comfortable lifestyle. Doubtless he is also continuing to haunt the highways and bye-ways of Udon, in the hope that yet another unsuspecting, and misguided, ex-pat will, over a cup of coffee with a casual acquaintance, self destruct by revealing the most personal of details, which he really should keep to himself. During the Second World War, there was to be seen everywhere posters bearing the warning slogan, “Careless talk costs lives”. Ex-pats, whose personal affairs include matters best not revealed to public scrutiny, should make it an unbreakable rule never, and I mean never, to discuss or reveal them to even the closest of their ex-pat friends, let alone a casual acquaintance who asks personal questions. Keep in mind; you might just be speaking to Udon’s RAT OF THE YEAR!

Successful Charity Evening. A special compliment to Molly Malone Bar & Restaurant proprietors, Sammy & Am for making their premises available for a charity evening to raise funds for a group of five local, financially hard pressed, schools. Guests paid an entrance fee of Bt.200 each, and were invited to make an additional voluntary contribution to help cover the costs of a buffet of generous proportions and delicious in content. Although unable to attend personally, the Guide’s proprietor Khun Lee generously forwarded a cash contribution, and arranged for feature-writer Dennis Walker to personally represent the Guide at the function. Unexpected entertainment was provided, to the amusement of all present, by the pathetic and abortive attempt by Dennis to overcome (in the nicest possible way) the lovely Miss Jazz, in the first round of the pool competition. One unkind onlooker was heard to remark, (unjustifiably?), that had Dennis concentrated more on his own form, and less on that of Jazz, he might possibly have won the match!. It turned out to be a really fun evening, and to witness the camaraderie and goodwill being exhibited throughout the proceedings was heart-warming. The pool competition although played competitively, with one table exception, was relaxed and enjoyed by players and spectators alike. Most importantly, the evening was a financial success for the charity to the tune of approximately Bt.70,000, and reflects credit on the preparedness of those ex-pats present, to contribute generously, for the benefit of the less fortunate among the local Thai community... I will be reporting further, in the next edition, upon the use to which the funds raised are put, and also upon the work done by the devoted organizers of this particular charitable venture. Meantime, any expats interested in volunteering their services, particularly those with any teaching experience, please make contact with Sam, at Molly Malone’s.