Good reply and great sense of humor James.

As stated there is absolutly nothing wrong with discussing Sin Sod. It is a healty subject just used wrong when it is used as an ATM. I have heard folks say that if you won't pay this you don't love me. I think I would have to back up and say do you love me that you would put our future in dutch just to pay sin sod. A bigger question should be ask back Do you love me?

I also know where the Thais get these god awful amounts. Have met two gentlemen that their goal is to marry shortly. One by August. Will do about anything to find this college professor and marry them. Won't happen so they settle for less and then get hit with a big whopping "if you love me you will pay the umpteen million baht". How many of these folks would go back to their home country and find a bride in a month or two. If they wre trying to do that in their home country they would be told how crazy they are. Just because you come to Thailand are you suppose to leave your brain in some other country.

As a falang should you pay sin sod. Sure why not but sit down and work for the good of the couple and all family to make this work. NOt a cattle auction and for sure not be asked on a public forum as I know a gal who should be worth so much but they want more or less. Am I being tricked. If you asked this question the obious answer is YES. If you have thought this through and both the man and the woman think this is the plan ahead for a marriage then you can work it out easy and you won't need my help or anyones elses.

This note is not to offend but to maybe help someone. Good luck on all marriages out there.

Hello everybody.
I am a new member and have enjoyed browsing through these topics, but, have yet to reply or post a topic myself. For the most part it seems all the relevant points have been voiced so any input by me would amount to irrelevency. I do believe, in regards to sin sod, I have some personal insights that can contribute to this thread. I moved to Thailand 5 yrs.ago and settled in CM. Predictably, like so many Falang, I gravitated to the Loi Kroh area of town. It was not long before I fell into a relationship with a lovely young lady from Surin. And I do mean lovely in all respects. After a month or so she had moved into my condo and we settled into what was a typical Thai-Falang relationship. I do not use the word "typical" cynically as one might suppose. Generally speaking it was a beneficial relationship for both of us. Of course there were the inevitable language and cultural barriers to negotiate. After a year of living freely in Thailand I grew restless and sought a more structured lifestyle that only gainful employment can provide. Also, and more to the point, I was only 31 yrs. old and was quickly eating into the profits of a fortunate real estate transaction. I quickly secured a professorship at CMU. It was around this time my TG was pushing for marriage. Initially I was not opposed to the idea and, at the least, allowed it be present on the conversation table. Of course the topic of sin sod quickly arose. The sum of 100,000BHT seemed to be the traditionly "accepted" figure. By this time I was becoming ingrained in campus culture and being invited to various dinner parties where I was meeting a middle, to upper-middleclass Thai crowd. Predictably I was hesitant to include my Thai GF into this equation. She was hesitant to go when I did invite her and the inevetable tension arose. The relationship quickly dissolved. After about 6 months at uni I met a beautiful young professor. We began dating and after another 6 months decided to marry. I asked her about the sin sod and she said that was something from the past and was not that important anymore. Her parents are not rich but nor can they claim poverty. Prosperous, if hardworking, farmers as it were. They own there own home and truck that brings there product to the Pu Filom market every weekend. Their 2 daughters and son have all attended university. My wife received her under-grad and grad degrees from Chulalangorn University. They are rightly proud of their offsprings emergence into the growing Thai middle-class. Our financial responsibility was to pay for the wedding. So to put a fine point on my lengthy post: I feel the sin sod is a bit anachronistic. From my experience I do not believe it is an intricate part of modern Thai wedding procedures. Possibly used on unsuspecting Falang unsure as to the do's and dont's of this new culture we inhabit. Though I could be way offbase on this as I've never done even anecdotle research on this topic. Anyway, great forum! I've probably gone on way too long here so for my next post I promise to employ a more economical reply.

Great Post and welcome to the forum thlboston.

You're probably right about the Sin Sod. Thai society is rapidly changing, some of the older, more traditional customs, are probably not practiced as often these days. Some customs, including the sin sod, may not be seen as great importance amongst the younger generations.

I agree with Lee.

Great post, very informative. That's why I log onto this site.

Gary.

P.S. All of a sudden I feel a lot richer.

Galee wrote:I agree with Lee.

Great post, very informative. That's why I log onto this site.

Gary.

P.S. All of a sudden I feel a lot richer.

and some may feel like they have been had or paid to much and some if they are going through the sin sod thing at the moment may well make a few changes.!!
good post too.

I read your post with great interest and it does show that if it is love why sin sod and I do beleive it is slowly dissappearing, also if for example with your first girlfriend you paid sin sod and married and later divorced and then meet up with your current what would you do if they insisted you pay sin sod, and maybe you had not enough to pay after paying for the first one,

thanks for the post thlboston

Great post Thl Boston. Very eloquant and I agree with what you said 100%.

To add a bit more in not so eloquant terms is the fact that it seems the high Falang Thai Sin Sod is applied to the 20 something Thai and the 60 plus Falang. The part that I have problem with in these relationships is the leaving of young children to be raised by the mother. It would seem to me that someone in their 60 plus would know how to not have children or could understand what happens when they leave the woman like that.

My point: Is that the reason for the high sin sod to help take care of junior when pops goes to visit the big Budda in the sky?