Today would have been my first wifes 68th birthday.She died 4 years ago,an alcoholic with emphezema and cancer of the lungs.We were married 49 years ago,Sept 1rst,together 20 years.

Rest in peace,dearest Ann,I wish I could have been,to you,the kind of husband I am today!You definitely deserved better

I am told by my friends in AA that alcoholics tend choose exceptionally good people for their spouse. Apparently this was true with your first wife.

I was moved by your posting probably because it hit home. In my case I am the alcoholic - now sober 20 years, I understand the pain that both of you must have suffered.

tom

uncle tom wrote:I am told by my friends in AA that alcoholics tend choose exceptionally good people for their spouse. Apparently this was true with your first wife.

I was moved by your posting probably because it hit home. In my case I am the alcoholic - now sober 20 years, I understand the pain that both of you must have suffered.

tom

She was not so lucky!

I thought that alcoholics and codependents were naturally attracted!

Congratulations on your 20 years of recovery!

Don't know you Stan but I bet she would only want you to remember the good and forget the bad.

Let peace be with you.

Several years ago, rather than New Year's Resolutions, I set out to concentrate on weaving one principle into my daily life for the entire year. I started out with Gratitude. What a difference it made in my peace of mind with former spouses (yes, I have multiples -- living with me was no easy task)!!

Being grateful for what one receives makes one focus so much on the good of a person rather than what one is missing. Stan, you seem to have achieved that peace. Bless you, and bless Ann.

(By the way...by the time I got to Forgiveness the following year, I found that I had almost nothing to forgive of other people -- and a great deal to forgive of myself and my own actions.)

Thank you for the warm,considerate replies

Sharra,I can't count the times I have vasilated between ''spiritual principles'' and ''self centered principals''!The ''peace'' comes and goes!What's left is a slightly clearer picture of self.Changes are more easily seen by friends

from one AA member to another god bless you and happy 20 b/day Your story touched me very much so I had to reply

I sympathize Stan. My first (Falang) wife was also an alcoholic, dying at age 30 my last (Thai) GF was also one (Boy, am I a good judge of character ). It is a very difficult thing to live with an alcoholic. I just never knew what to do to help.