I have with amusement read your advice to poster 'dougness' in several threads.

As a PostDoctorate Senior Research Fellow of WBU I would like you to kindly give a thought about my position:


1. 50+ former punter with a record of 500+ b00nks in Thailand, Laos, Myanmar, Vietnam, Cambodia.

2. Meet hospital working virgin nurse aged 23.

3. Lonely, decides to marry (amphur registered). Got a child - now 17 mnths old (dual nationality & 2 passports).

4. Sinsot + fix house + pick up car + motorbike + house for wife + down payments on my (her) Honda City = 2+ million baht.

5. Savings : now only a few hundred k. Pension : 100 k pr. month.

6. Marriage: Dead - She wants another child, but I don't touch her anymore. Last year I have become a full blown alcoholic.

7. Now - no more money to parents, but I feel I gave them to much before. Still my wife spends half of my pension. My mistake ...


Run? To where? Europe is cold - Cambo is to wild. Bring the child? and get a nurse?

If I split - and the money I give in child support is not enough - my wife will dump the child with her parents in the jungle and go to work. Bye-bye western thinking and a MSc (or whatever).

If I take the child with me - she will have a father who's drinking beer all day and will be raised by a Phillipino nurse in Vietnam (or whatever).

PS The child goes to nursery from 9AM-3PM already, and loves it.

Petition: Flaming is ok, but real advice what do about the child would be more appreciated ...

Thanks

Save everyone a world of trouble, including yourself,and take a walk. Leave the child and mother alone to be raised as best they know how,by themselves with family support.You say your drinking beer all day and don't touch your wife anymore,and an admitted alcoholic. Dont be a deadbeat dad,support the kid and you can go on to further your "record" of 500 bonks.
This is not critisism,belly up to the bar where life really happens !!!And for christ sakes have some fun will ya !!!

All I want to know is where is DR PHIL when he's really needed
because this is going to require professional help. I'm tempted to
offer my typically useless advice but this is no longer amateur hour.

philo wrote:I have with amusement read your advice to poster 'dougness' in several threads.

As a PostDoctorate Senior Research Fellow of WBU I would like you to kindly give a thought about my position:


1. 50+ former punter with a record of 500+ b00nks in Thailand, Laos, Myanmar, Vietnam, Cambodia.

2. Meet hospital working virgin nurse aged 23.

3. Lonely, decides to marry (amphur registered). Got a child - now 17 mnths old (dual nationality & 2 passports).

4. Sinsot + fix house + pick up car + motorbike + house for wife + down payments on my (her) Honda City = 2+ million baht.

5. Savings : now only a few hundred k. Pension : 100 k pr. month.

6. Marriage: Dead - She wants another child, but I don't touch her anymore. Last year I have become a full blown alcoholic.

7. Now - no more money to parents, but I feel I gave them to much before. Still my wife spends half of my pension. My mistake ...


Run? To where? Europe is cold - Cambo is to wild. Bring the child? and get a nurse?

If I split - and the money I give in child support is not enough - my wife will dump the child with her parents in the jungle and go to work. Bye-bye western thinking and a MSc (or whatever).

If I take the child with me - she will have a father who's drinking beer all day and will be raised by a Phillipino nurse in Vietnam (or whatever).

PS The child goes to nursery from 9AM-3PM already, and loves it.

Petition: Flaming is ok, but real advice what do about the child would be more appreciated ...

Thanks

Philo,number one issue is your alcoholism!You need to get into a treatment program,detox and find a support group to help you not take the first drink!

You have plenty of resources left to take care of you and the child!I am sure you can find someone to take care of the child while you are detoxing!

If you stay on the booze,you will be no good to yourself or your daughter!

philo wrote:I have with amusement read your advice to poster 'dougness' in several threads.

As a PostDoctorate Senior Research Fellow of WBU I would like you to kindly give a thought about my position:


1. 50+ former punter with a record of 500+ b00nks in Thailand, Laos, Myanmar, Vietnam, Cambodia.

2. Meet hospital working virgin nurse aged 23.

3. Lonely, decides to marry (amphur registered). Got a child - now 17 mnths old (dual nationality & 2 passports).

4. Sinsot + fix house + pick up car + motorbike + house for wife + down payments on my (her) Honda City = 2+ million baht.

5. Savings : now only a few hundred k. Pension : 100 k pr. month.

6. Marriage: Dead - She wants another child, but I don't touch her anymore. Last year I have become a full blown alcoholic.

7. Now - no more money to parents, but I feel I gave them to much before. Still my wife spends half of my pension. My mistake ...


Run? To where? Europe is cold - Cambo is to wild. Bring the child? and get a nurse?

If I split - and the money I give in child support is not enough - my wife will dump the child with her parents in the jungle and go to work. Bye-bye western thinking and a MSc (or whatever).

If I take the child with me - she will have a father who's drinking beer all day and will be raised by a Phillipino nurse in Vietnam (or whatever).

PS The child goes to nursery from 9AM-3PM already, and loves it.

Petition: Flaming is ok, but real advice what do about the child would be more appreciated ...

Thanks

Philo,number one issue is your alcoholism!You need to get into a treatment program,detox and find a support group to help you not take the first drink!

You have plenty of resources left to take care of you and the child!I am sure you can find someone to take care of the child while you are detoxing!

If you stay on the booze,you will be no good to yourself or your daughter!

You may PM me if you like!

there is AA support group in Udon thani if your interested in going PM and I will get the info for you

Thanks for your advice - but to go dry I can hear about in the closest church.

The options are:

Leave - and my daugter will be raised like the other barefooted ...
Stay - and she will be destroyed by conflicts.
Take her with me - and in worst case let her be raised by my family in Europe.

Anyway - I have **** in my pants, and I still don't know how to wash them ...

And a big thank you to 'Cap.' and mortiboy. Whatever I do, the outcome will be the same. (Stolen and modified from an English film about colonial life in India - I have forgotten the title).

It could have been worse - may be it will be ...

1. 50+ former punter with a record of 500+ b00nks in Thailand, Laos, Myanmar, Vietnam, Cambodia.

2. Meet hospital working virgin nurse aged 23.

3. Lonely, decides to marry (amphur registered). Got a child - now 17 mnths old (dual nationality & 2 passports).

being lonely is a reason to get married and have children?
should have stuck to step 1

Typical alcoholic response!Alcohol is to important to give up and not the problem!Everyone else in my life is the problem and if they would change everything would get better!I only drink so much because of my problems

I would have thought this was a no brainer.....booze verses the fruit of your loins...Look after that child, she never asked you to bring her into this World, but now you have she's your responsibility so get your act together and start acting like a man

I am very sorry to hear that you are unhappy with your situation. From my native culture (formerly Christian, U.S.A.), this is called marriage, and you are expected to ride it out. There is a chance that if you and your wife recognize the problems you are having, that with some work and diligence you can work things out so you are all happier, but it will take time.

Running is not a very well thought out solution and as you point out, it would mean abandoning your highest responsibility -to see that your child is raised properly.

Running is gutless. Your child and her welfare and upbringing should be foremost in your mind. Did your father abandon you? Your daughter deserves both HER mother and HER father. YOU are not the important part of this equation. SHE is. Your daughter.

Work things out with your wife. Go to a relationship councellor. At least try to change things from how they are now.

As Aardvark says, show some responsibility and start acting like a man.

I say again, and I don't know but "did your father abandon you"?

I agree running is gutless, but by the sounds of things family would be better off with him. All relationships go through rough patches and you have to try and ride them out. But as previously said by someone else the little girl is the most important person here and shes being badly effected right now, so everyone should think logically and decide whats best for her. Kids are for life not just a passing fancy put her first!!!!

take child to another thai town

settle in a small guest house

wait for someone older 30/40 to mother the child, wont take long

learn by your mistakes start next realationship on more business like basis ie no money other then what you can afford, and stick to it

give up drinking, alcoholic , never met one that could admit it that was not on the way to a cure.

thats if you care about the kid.

Oh and congratulations, a virgin nurse now thats a first in any language