I don't understand why some of you are doubting Texpats intentions, I know Tex (not in the biblical sense you understand) and I am happy to attest to his extremely unfortunate appearance.
Please do not doubt him when he says he is one fugly fecker, so much so when we go out together I insist that he wears a triple ply paper bag on his head, he is so ugly he has been known to scare the fleas off a Soi dog.
Underneath that grotesque and warted exterior (Sorry Tex but thats the only description that fits) beats a heart of pure gold. His generous nature was legendary where he was born and raised in Transylvania. (thats Transylvania NC not the other one where Dracula hailed from.)
All Tex wants now in these sunset years of his life is to walk around the streets and bars of Udon without, bar girls running into the toilets to hide when his shuffling carcass enters day & night, without small children soiling their pants in fright.
In most cases in Udon, home of the visually challenged and infirm, this wouldn't be too much to ask but sadly even by Udon standards Tex sets new lows when it comes to fulfilling the description of Butt ugly.

Tex said he wanted to get a few freckles eradicated from his boatrace...now they have turned into warts..and has to wear a bag on his head when he is out and about, didn't think things where that extreme when you first posted....you sound very unlucky, but i bet you have never been mugged by an Airport limo driver , lost your wallet with B4000 (but found it again the next day when the same tuk tuk driver still had it in his possession complete with the full amount still inside..) and lost your i-pod and phone in a flood inside a bangkok hotel room just like the Scots Doc experianced in another thread....so things ain't that bad when you weigh it up.

BM, Tex said that he had a few freckles but the truth is his problem runs a bit deeper.


One of the only photos of Tex as a baby his mother didn't destroy'



Poor ol Tex, all he a wants out of life is to get laid, just once. He couldn't get laid in pattaya so when he heard about udon he thought, I might have a chance but sadly not even in udon will on of the local lassies take his money for a night of fulfillment for poor Ol Tex.

After my nose job a few years ago, you would hardly believe the kid in the baby photo was me.