For the same reasons as Brian,i paid nothing.I said i will happily care for the family if someone is ill or hungry or needs some cash for education.
If they had asked for money and i knew it was not at the behest of the wife,then i would pay something to prevent an emotional tug of war with wife stuck in the middle.It's not worth the stress for say 50000 Baht.Each individual has their own upper limit under which they feel comfortable.If it is too high it does not bode well for the future as you may be seen as the proverbial walking ATM("ATM dern")

My first wife was Thai and from my understanding from her sister, she paid 60k Baht. I did not know this until I came back to Thailand last year. I was surprise, no money was mentioned when we got married in her village Sangkha (just south of Surin). So it looks as if the sin sod has been going for along time as this was 34 yrs ago.

Pop's

banpaeng wrote:Also as I told my wife before, "I am not buying you".

I did the same Brian, because that is MY culture. In the end we settled for a compromise that satisfied all parties and in practice cost me nothing. Honour and culture satisfied on all sides, as it were. Because WE talked about it.

What I find surprising about this turn in the thread, is that people want to ask here and elsewhere how much they should pay. Apart from the meat auction aspect of this (which I will pass on discussing for now).. if they cannot discuss and resolve this with their intended, I just wonder how well they actually know her?

This is not directed at an individual; this subject seems to crop up again and again. But, just an observation, if you cannot discuss and understand all aspects of current circumstances, future plans etc together, then what the h**l are you doing getting married?

The seemingly major problems about cultural differences are much exaggerated IMHO, the normal tests and trials of life will be much more significant in the future. If you do not understand each other, what chance have you with those?

Yorkman said,

The seemingly major problems about cultural differences are much exaggerated IMHO, the normal tests and trials of life will be much more significant in the future. If you do not understand each other, what chance have you with those?

Ah but in my opinion the normal trials and tribulations are present even in a same cultural marriage. Adding in the cultural, ethnic, and language differences just add to the enormity of making a marriage successful.. As it stands now, in the States, 50% of all marriages regardless of the mix, end in divorce....

I wonder what the split-up rate is for Farang/Thai marriages for those that actually live over here in Thailand??

FrazeeDK wrote:Yorkman said,

The seemingly major problems about cultural differences are much exaggerated IMHO, the normal tests and trials of life will be much more significant in the future. If you do not understand each other, what chance have you with those?

Ah but in my opinion the normal trials and tribulations are present even in a same cultural marriage. Adding in the cultural, ethnic, and language differences just add to the enormity of making a marriage successful..

Of course they are, my only comment was as to their relative importance, IMHO of course

Its up to individuals, but we just turned the cultural, ethnic and language differences, such as they are, into a sort of standing joke, and agreed to disagree. Or where we could not do that, talk about it. Minimal problems...

I attended my first Thai/ Thai wedding yesterday. It was in Ban Dung district approx 20km north of Nong Han.

I watched the presentation of the dowry, the counting, recounting, arranging and rearranging of what seemed a lot of money, for about 40 mins.

I resolved there and then that should I decide to marry a Thai girl there will be no bride purchase. I know this is part of Thai culture but it is not my culture and as I would expect to care for my wife as best I can then the issue of bride price would not arise.

Interesting to be the only Falang at a purely Thai occasion but I was looked after well.

John

FrazeeDK wrote:I wonder what the split-up rate is for Farang/Thai marriages for those that actually live over here in Thailand??

That would be an interesting statistic. Based on my husband's former marriage to an Udon woman, and what we know has happened with several other Thai-falang marriages, the concept of "divorce" is in itself rather loose. She simply moved out over 15 years ago, they continued to be parents and grandparents together, and no paperwork was undertaken until he wanted to remarry.

I do agree with the statement that all marriages with cultural differences require an extra degree of effort, in addition to the issues that will arise in any new marriage. My previous marriage was to a first generation German-Jewish man with a family Holocaust background, and I completely underestimated how our cultures would affect the marriage.

Love does NOT conquer all.

Something of interest on Sin Sod and more.

http://www.siamlady.com/Ceremonies.htm

Pop's

i'm glad i don't have to mess with the "sid sod" thing because i sponsored my fiance and we are getting marry here in the States. i talked to her parents (her mom lives in Las Vegas) and her father still resides in Udon, and they are just happy that i'm taking care of her and good to her. i plan on just having a "reception" ceremony in Udon for her family next year. and her parents are ok with that idea. as far as the sid sod thing, her parents and i never discussed or mentioned it. i'm not at all frugal nor want to disrespect her family, but since they didn't expect "sid sod" from me, i didn't bother mentioning it. so when it comes to discussing about "sid sod" it varies within families and depends on certain circumstances, it could be sorted out without breaking the groom's bank.

Well couldn't resist reporting this. Maybe make a few guys feel a lot better about the , in comparison, minimal amounts they have paid.
The half Thai, half Scottish singer, Tata Young has just announced that the engagement to marry she partook about 18 months ago, is off. Apparently she has just found out the guy is gay.When asked about the dowry she received, reported to include 140 baht gold, a 5.5 carat diamond ring and other "trivial baubles" including cash, totaling, according to newspaper reports at the time a mere 140 million baht, she declined to comment.
Taken from an article in the "Thai Rath" newspaper.

140 million baht!?............. KIN ELL!

dont believe everything you read in the papers !!!! 18 months and just found out hes gay, yeah right, and 140 million sin sod, i would want all the virgins in a small province for that sort of money.

she is 1/2 American and 1/2 Thai

A guy i work with is actually her god parent and he proudly shows the picts of her upbringing.

I didnt beleive him till he showed all the family shots etc.

Her father had a bar in Washinton square many years ago.

Wazza, let me know if you trip over a large gopher wood boat on Mt Ararat.

John

Wokka

2 Issan Stunners, 2 Condoms, 2 Big Macs, 2 large San Migs,

Isnt that what the Bible says i must take ?