Not a poll...too limiting

As a counter view to the "would you marry a BG" thread, perhaps.

I know a lady who has been corresponding (internet thing) and has met a farang who she has pinned her hopes on as the love of her life, and has met him often. She went to the UK with him for a month; all was well

Background for her...35 or so, certainly not unattractive, not married because her sick mother is (was, sadly) her first priority, educated, she is an English teacher who can actually hold a conversation in English. And a very good friend to both my wife and myself.

He wants her to move to the UK; which means leaving her secure government job to which she can never return.

She met him in BKK last week. He left her in the hotel room to meet a "friend"; who is apparently a BG down on her luck (he told her this...amazingly) and took her for a walk in the seedier areas of BKK, which she is well aware of; but has never seen before.

Not surprisingly, she has returned to Udon and is a bit devastated and confused by this.

Now....I am tempted to have a "reality chat" with her when I get back to Thailand next week. My wife thinks I should. But I hesitate...its always a problem if you interfere in other peoples relationships IMHO

A view from the other side of the fence perhaps?

John

I agree 100% John. I hope all works out for her and maybe subtle hints but to walk in and say something could prove bad for the both of you..

I also said and this has been pointed out in the news, spouse abuse is not uncommon in relationships through agencies. These guys use this as most of the wives cannot run a background check.

In another thread it was also pointed out that there are several folks that thier aim in life is to sit in a bar, pub, beer joint, etc all day. I would not want to be married to someone like that either.

This is one of those you just can't win in, You tell the girl she breaks off the relationship and the desire is strong enough he will probably what if herself to death with it. Also may end up resenting you and your wife before it' over.

You don't tell her and things go wrong she later finds out you could have saved her, you and your wife may lose a friend.

On the other hand we are not talking about someone who is working on a farm here she has a lot to lose. I guess if it were my friend the only advice I would give would be to go slow. If the guy is serious about the girl he will give her a bit of time.

What were her trips to London like with him. It's difficult to judge somones behavior when they are in Holiday mode. His taking her to the rougher sides of Bangkok. I took my wife to Pattaya for her to see once. she hated it, but now the question is no longer in her mind.

It seems to me that she is unsure and if that is the case don't move until she is sure.


Personally I have never dealt with one of these so my judgement stinks and I hope I never have to do so.

In my experience, no one will believe anything someone else tells them about the one they think they love, they will only see what they want to see.So the previous posts are right, keep out of it, you have nothing to gain, only lose.However if she is a really good friend and you want to help her, start introducing her to some really nice friends, she will soon see the light for herself.You will have saved her, without seeming to have interfered

ray23 wrote:What were her trips to London like with him

Apparently absolutely fine, he went the 9 miles to get her a visa. They visited with his family,met his ex wife and little girl, went on trips all over the country etc. She even had a job promised by his brother, she probably would not need one, but she wants to contribute and work if she can.

He has been to Thailand many times before, both on his own account to meet her, and he worked in Thailand for a while, and they "met" in a Yahoo chat room while he was working in Thailand, maybe 2 years ago now, not an agency or anything; it seemed like a "slowly" relationship to me that was working out just fine.

Anyway, he is back in Thailand in January, and she has already suggested a "foursome" night out which I am wriggling to politely get out of. Yes, not say a word was my first instinct. I hope I can resist

In the frame of mind she is in now, a combination of upset, confused and somewhat angry, he maybe has a shock coming unless he explains himself thoroughly; thats the result I am hoping for, either way.

John

Why don't you go on the night out and see what you think of the guy. If your friend trusts your judgement - she may ask you what you think of him and then you can say what you want as you have actually been invited to do so?

I have had Thai girls ask me to meet their farang b/f 's and then later they ask me what I think of them - and I give them my honest opinion. I haven't lost any friends yet.

Well I have little choice it seems, its been arranged already by wifey and friend without consultation with me

I still have the feeling that Ray's prediction is just about right. A year or so down the line the fact that I was asked for an opinion may well be long forgotten

John

yorkman wrote:Well I have little choice it seems, its been arranged already by wifey and friend without consultation with me

Now you think you really had any say so of a night out planed by the girls

I see it as a positive thing at least you can get an idea of what you think of the guy and you won't to say anything the the lady just do what I do...tell to the wife belive me the news well get to the her

Yes I know about the chinese (thai??) whispers; but I would prefer not to be involved. You and I know exactly what he is doing.....or not (maybe its a holiday thing) ...but I don't want to be a part of ruining a very decent womans life.....perhaps....or not....my dilemma. I would not care to judge a complete person based on one night out in a restaurant. Unless he suggests we leave them and go down the Soi's....then I might form a view

A farang BG (BB?) perhaps....its not all one way is it?