Thai/falang relationship after going to Falangland

Author: **BKKSTAN** » February 9, 2009, 1:11 pm

I think most of us have heard about the many difficulties some of the mixed relationships have in Thailand!

I am thinking about those relationships where the Thai woman is of a much younger generation than the falang husband!

I often wonder about the viabilty of these relationships ,once the Thai wife/GF takes up residence in their husbands countries!

I doubt if many of the Thais girls that immigrate are deeply in love with their partners,security and opportunity being their main motivation,so I would think there would be alot of concern about the competition of younger,more handsome and richer men that I am sure would show alot of attention to the attractive Thais married to older men!

Just yesterday,we heard about a couple we know that were married 12 years ago!He was 50 and she was 19!We knew her and her family and met him on his trips to Bangkok.He went through a respectful courtship,respecting her virginity and was considered a very nice man!
He paid a 100,000 baht sinsod and was very generous to her,her family and others ,in my eyes, as I observed his actions from the beginning and their many return trips from the USA to visit.They have 2 children 6 and 7 yrs old and we saw the oldest when she was a baby,during a visit and before we basicly lost touch with them because we moved to NK!

Turns out that she left him and the children 4 years ago for a man closer to her age!

I know this happens everywhere,and amongst all type of relationships and I don't know why I was surprised!Maybe it was the fact that she abandoned the kids!

Anyway it made me start thinking about this topic! :-k

Author: **cali4995** » February 9, 2009, 1:32 pm

A lot of competition from younger, handsome men who are willing to lie and do most anything
to get in their pants, including breaking up an otherwise happy family. Sadly, it probably won't
last either. I really hope I end-up with a woman who has the depth to see past all that stuff. [-o<

Author: **saint** » February 9, 2009, 5:37 pm

why fcuk up a relationship by taking them out of thailand ? like L A says keep em bare foot and pregnant !!!!!!

Author: **PhilR** » February 9, 2009, 7:04 pm

See a lot of older male, young, probably Thai, females travelling around on train and tube in London. They just do not look as happy as when the realationship stays in Thailand. Hardly talking, or holding hands or anything. I think the misery of London wears the girls down, the men don't feel as comfortable or relaxed here, being in a society that doesn't accept the age gap so easily. The Thai girl has lost her roots, family, sunshine, pace of life, quite a loss.

I do however, know of one success of a work colleague. However, the Thai female was much older, near his age, about 40. The standing joke was he fell for the daughter and brought back the mum to England by mistake! But, that relationship has been going well for over 10 years now!

Author: **jingjai** » February 9, 2009, 9:29 pm

Just yesterday,we heard about a couple we know that were married 12 years ago!He was 50 and she was 19!...
Turns out that she left him and the children 4 years ago for a man closer to her age!

Well he most probably was horny (nothing wrong with that) and had x-amount of years left until retirement . She was looking for security (nothing wrong with that).
He got what he wanted/needed for 8 years, but now he's got squat (well he's got 2 kids). She got what she wanted for 8 years and now she's got herself a younger man.
The problem's are:
1. He most probably fell in love.
2. They had children, she probably spent her time raising the kids instead of taking advantage of the educational/work opportunities available to her in the U.S. If she taken advantage of educational/work opportunities, she might have become self-sufficient, learned about responsibility, taken the kids and gone on to have a nice life. Now, she's married or with a guy who knowingly broke-up a family, not a good catch, IMO.
3. Now he is 62 years old and stuck with two kids and probably ain't getting laid

.
What could/should of have been a win/win situation. Has turned into a win (for her)/lose (for him).

For those of you contemplating taking your Thai wife/GF back to your home country to live, remember:
It's a dog-eat-dog world back there in the Western relationship world, beware, you've been warned.

Author: **izzix** » February 10, 2009, 12:10 am

agreed i see them in chinatown buying foodstuffs and they dont look happy at all, little smalltalk and no smiles . I have seen old guys with young gals and the gal is walking to one side and 7 feet behind because they are embarrassed about the stares they get from passers by .some times the age gap can be 50 years on some couples . But the couples that are ok are when the gal is as thick as a plank, they seem to be ok ,and i really mean as thick as a plank . Pal of mine has some hair salons and used to like employing thai gals but not anymore . He got fedup with all the hassles with blokes hanging around the shop for them and irate hubbies and arguments ..hubby got ditched when they found a younger bloke.

Author: **westerby** » February 10, 2009, 2:05 am

jingjai wrote:For those of you contemplating taking your Thai wife/GF back to your home country to live, remember:
It's a dog-eat-dog world back there in the Western relationship world, beware, you've been warned.

No offence, JJ but that sounds like jive ass honky sh*t to me. Me and the missus have been together for 20 years and married for 18 and a bit. We came back to the UK in 1991 and been together since. Furthermore, we have lots of friends in Farang/Thai marriages and they haven't any problems either. In fact, I reckon the proportion of Thai/Farang and Farang/Farang marriages going under is roughly the same. But then there's not a vast age difference between partners in our gang (there's two years between me and my missus) so I reckon half the issue is fossilised Farangs marrying young Isaan girls from the sticks - both with vastly differing priorities on what they want from the relationship.

Chawk dee...

Author: **beer monkey** » February 10, 2009, 4:49 am

Westers wrote:Me and the missus have been together for 20 years and married for 18 and a bit. We came back to the UK in 1991 and been together since.

Nice one westers... =D>

Me only got 5 years under my belt so far..but together for ErrrrrrrErmmmmm 10 or so. :-k

I suppose It works for some but not for others....seen lots and heard plenty of storys.

Author: **pompui** » February 10, 2009, 5:41 am

A bit behind you BM,3 and a half years marriage,known the TW over 9 years but chose to live here.I know of at least 3 recent marriages to farang and 2 have opted so far for the farangland option.Presumably their intentions are to save money not buying here as they cannot own the assets but wait till the law kicks in for the TW's to claim their 50% of the assets in farangland when it all goes bellyup.I will remain optimistic for them but if they are all divorced in 2 or 3 years time when their TW's cash in for a younger wannabee then so be it
Trouble with choosing younger studs is do they have any money in the first place,sure their stamina/sex drive and a full lock of hair can entice the thai women but we do have Indian blue,hair transplants(Jimmy white and Graham Gooch swear their transplants went well) to compete.

Author: **BKKSTAN** » February 10, 2009, 6:24 am

westerby wrote: But then there's not a vast age difference between partners in our gang (there's two years between me and my missus) so I reckon half the issue is fossilised Farangs marrying young Isaan girls from the sticks - both with vastly differing priorities on what they want from the relationship.

Chawk dee...[/color]

Don't you know any''fossilised fgarangs that married young Isaan girls from the sticks'' living in your country?

And if not,is that because you don't socialize with them?Or is it because they don't stay together?

Do you think that these relationships will last if they move to Falangland?

Author: **valiant** » February 10, 2009, 1:42 pm

Excuse me but am I <FOSSILISED FARANG> I am 57 and my wife is 34 and I think we are happy Nongkhan
has been in England for nearly 3 years and her daughter 2.Both are enjoying life and we are all making plans for the future.

Author: **Nick@AUA** » February 10, 2009, 1:52 pm

izzix wrote:agreed i see them in chinatown buying foodstuffs and they dont look happy at all, little smalltalk and no smiles . I have seen old guys with young gals and the gal is walking to one side and 7 feet behind because they are embarrassed about the stares they get from passers by .some times the age gap can be 50 years on some couples . But the couples that are ok are when the gal is as thick as a plank, they seem to be ok ,and i really mean as thick as a plank . Pal of mine has some hair salons and used to like employing thai gals but not anymore . He got fedup with all the hassles with blokes hanging around the shop for them and irate hubbies and arguments ..hubby got ditched when they found a younger bloke.

Author: **valiant** » February 10, 2009, 1:54 pm

Further to what I said previously NongKhan and I have made many friends here in the UK Nongkhan chooses her friends wisely,all Issan ladies who had worked on the farm and who had nothing at home but
good families.

Author: **jingjai** » February 10, 2009, 3:53 pm

westerby wrote:
jingjai wrote:For those of you contemplating taking your Thai wife/GF back to your home country to live, remember:
It's a dog-eat-dog world back there in the Western relationship world, beware, you've been warned.

Me and the missus have been together for 20 years and married for 18 and a bit. But then there's not a vast age difference between partners in our gang (there's two years between me and my missus) so I reckon half the issue is fossilised Farangs marrying young Isaan girls from the sticks...
Chawk dee...

That's great westerby. I congratulate you and the rest your "gang"! And I'm fairly certain this:

there's two years between me and my missus

has a lot to do with the longevity of your relationship.

My warning was aimed more at the

fossilised Farangs marrying young Isaan girls

and contemplating taking them back to the West.

Author: **Ricky** » February 10, 2009, 4:09 pm

Whilst I would be amongst the first to agree that a big age difference invites problems, such as different outlooks and levels of maturity etc, I have to say again that one cannot generalise about such things. I know of couples where there is a large age gap and it works well, both in Thailand and in the UK. Ultimately it comes down to the individuals involved!

In my case there is a large age gap between myself and my partner, but it works well for us because of things like levels of maturity, and what we appreciate and value in each other. I appreciate her approach to things in life, her loyalty, honesty and integrity, that she is quiet, polite, clean and tidy, not loud, rude or abusive. She tells me she was drawn to me by the fact I treated her with respect, care and attention, was polite and showed genuine affection, and it works very well for us both.

Whilst we don't live in the UK, we have visited and experienced no problems or prejudices.

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