In recent weeks, I've had discussions with many of my friends about what I have come to call the "15-minute Factor" ... I define this as my ability in my relationship(s) to definitely know what is going on in the next 15 minutes, but beyond that is anyone's guess.

Most of the time this is the result of poor communication or lack thereof; and my friends have said that, regardless of girlfriend or wife status, they have experienced the same.

This is almost always characterized by an abrupt change of plans (earlier or later) that you did not expect, but that your significant other thinks nothing of altering and almost convinces you that it was the plan all along.

I (and my friends) have been aware of this phenomenon, but didn't know what to call it. Additionally, we have come to expect it, and we do not allow it to ruin our day.

Are forum members experiencing this, too?

I believe I may have run across that last weekend. Get up Sat. morn., wife fixes my breaky and I sit down to the PC to check my email. After an hour or so she says, "you play golf today?". She knows I don't play on Sat. but I don't suspect anything and just say, "No".

She's making trips in and out of the house and over to 'Mum' (next door). I'm sitting around watching the TV and anxiously waiting for 'The Open' to start. She says, "Let's go to Castle HowChow and have a swim." I'm thinking, that's a good way to kill the afternoon and besides I've been looking forward to going there anyway, "OK, when you want to leave?" She says, "We go after lunch". I say, "We can't just go down there and use their pool, we should eat while we're there." She says, "OK".

It's now nearly noon and there's lots of activity (of course everything's in Thai so I'm left out). Finally I see the wife with a suitcase!! I comment, that's a mighty big bag just to carry a swimsuit. Of course that goes completely over everyone's head. I go put on my swimsuit under my shorts and grab a clean set of skivvies and head for the car. Now Mum, sister, wife and son are loaded into the car. We make a stop and pick up the other son and are on the way to Khon Kaen. When we arrive wife and her sister book 3 rooms and we spend the night. Go figure.

But Brian, did you enjoy it!.

I have PM.d you

Sounds like you and your wife need to have one of those talks about communicating and surprises. I found that these talks help, at least temporarily.

rickfarang wrote:Sounds like you and your wife need to have one of those talks about communicating and surprises. I found that these talks help, at least temporarily.

Yes, I have had what I call those "Come to Jesus" meetings, too. As you said, they are temporary ... and then the next "15-Minute Factor" kicks in.


I've just learned to expect the unexpected now.

Yes its similar to what i was talking about on the crosswires topic....all strange stuff to 'us lot' only they know what goes on in their tiny heads....i am convinced that we will NEVER know.