Tip Tip (Thai Travails) Magazine Issue 3 Oct-Dec 2007, Page 34
By Doug Quist © Udonmap.com

Whenever I leave a restaurant after an evening meal and return to my car in the restaurant’s car park, I am often greeted by the parking attendant. He follows me to my car so tentatively, yet graciously. As I approach the driver’s door, he quickly weaves in front of me to shine his light on my key hole to assist me in opening the car door. I find this service to be a bit superfluous, but just the same I feel obligated to tip him as I grumble to myself, “I have been opening my own car door unassisted for years with no trouble at all thank you.”

I occasionally face a similar dilemma in the bathroom of some restaurants and pubs. I go into the bathroom and am comfortably standing at the urinal relieving myself when a man approaches me from behind and touches me on the lower back, very successfully bringing the flow to an abrupt halt. Realizing that I’m finished for now I turn around to leave and lo and behold, the faithful attendant eagerly waits to assist me in washing my hands. I am accustomed to answering my biological calls independently and privately but now here I am with my bladder on hold while I face the fact that I must decide whether or not I am going to include a tip for this REsistance he caused innocently disguised as - ASsistance. The obligation to tip looms in my mind. For some unknown reason I actually consider tipping this fellow for the interruption he caused even though such an occasion hardly feels like a time to tip. My heart goes out to anymore who must spend so many hours in a bathroom, perhaps that fact alone warrants a tip. But …..

Whenever I come face to face with the car park and bathroom attendants I experience an inward struggle – should I tip? After all, this is not a samlor driver who wants to soak me for a higher rate than agreed upon after getting me lost or a waitress who slept for 15 minutes while I was trying to signal check/bill. The attendants are two working people trying to make a living; it’s not their fault if some farang just doesn’t “get it.” However, I just can’t bring myself to merely toss tips to these attendants, simply because I am at a loss to identify any kind of service they performed for me that I needed. But they are polite young men and after all - T.I.T. As I ponder this dilemma further, I ask myself again, just why should I tip? I know 20 baht is nothing to a rich farang like me. Inside I bleed western values and think, “It’s the principle. They shouldn’t get a tip from me.” But Shouldn’t I throw these men who are only doing their a jobs a gratuity? Next the “Kee Ngio” (miser) factor crosses my mind and I say, well I’ll throw a tip in the next time and be done with it. Then I think, if I tip this one and that one I lose my principles. But then again, maybe I need to shed my principles being in a new country I now call home. Should I tip? How much should I tip and when should I tip? Perhaps I should jettison my western principles completely and then I would really have an excuse not to tip as it is probably the westerners who introduced this tipping notion in the first place.

So next I decided to take a look and see just where this idea of tipping began. Just who is responsible for imposing this “obligation” on all of us? Well, I didn’t expect to find much information in the Udon library so my next move was to “Google it.” When you’re a foreigner in Asia I guess the Internet is the source of knowledge. Here is an http compilation of the possible origins of the concept of tipping:

The history of tipping (from Annelena lobb)
Found in Money magazine
In 1972, George Foster, Professor Emeritus of Anthropology at UC Berkeley, looked at the origins of words meaning "tip" or "gratuity" in several language. He found that, frequently, it evolved from 'drink money' -- supporting the idea that the practice began in eating establishments. Foster theorized that tipping started with a desire to avoid envy on the part of the server and to send the message that the server should have a drink at the customer's expense. The, “Here buy yourself a cup of coffee” syndrome.

However some gratuities are gratuitous

Most sources who seek to determine the origins of the word “tip” eagerly point out that there is no evidence that “tip” is an acronym – To Insure Promptness. The reason given is that acronyms were rare in the English language before the 1930’ and “tip” was used as early as the 16th century.

Another possible origin is that “tip” comes from the 16th century verb tip, which meant "o give unexpectedly’, and was derived from the German word tippen, meaning "to tap." The modern German version would instead be Trinkgeld, literally meaning "Drink Gold", or "Money to Drink.” Modern German would instead be for "tap",

Here’s another good one, “Some claim the origin for the word “tip” is a concept from Judaism, in that it was a chiyuv (obligation) for a seller to "tip the scales" in favor of the customer. The Torah says, "Nosen lo girumov (Give to him a tip)." For example, if your customer has asked for three pounds of onions, you should measure out the three pounds plus one extra onion, tipping the scale in his favor.” So, all of you who are quick with the Jewish jokes, bite your tongues.

If this isn’t enough, there’s more from Michael Quinion:
Actually, tip is a most interesting word. There are three distinct senses of tip in English: the one for an extremity probably comes from Old Norse; the one with the sense of overturn possibly also comes from a Scandinavian language, though nobody is sure. The one you’re asking about may derive from the German tippen, or possibly also be connected with the idea of an extremity, though authorities in language history are hedging their bets through lack of evidence. It turns up first in the thirteenth century, meaning to touch lightly (as in the game tip and run). By the early 1600s, it had become thieves’ cant with the sense of handing something over, or passing something surreptitiously to another person. This may derive from the idea of lightly touching somebody’s arm in order to communicate. (This is supported by other appearances of the word in phrases like tip the wink and tip off and the noun tip for a piece of inside information, say on a horse race.)

One specific thing that was passed was a small sum of money. By the beginning of the eighteenth century it had taken on its modern meaning of giving a gratuity for a small service rendered; the first recorded use is in George Farquhar’s play The Beaux Stratagem of 1706 (“Then I, Sir, tips me the Verger with half a Crown”). By the 1750s, it could also mean the gratuity itself.

Now that we have intellectually masturbated the origins of tip, we are still left with the problem of when we should tip, and especially, when a tip is appropriate in Thailand? Here are some common reasons for tipping

Tip etiquette
If you don't already know
I the tip is your expression of gratitude for service
II. Tipping empowers the customer.
III. Tips are necessary for the job
IV. It shows you appreciate a service.
V. You don't have to so something yourself.

And

The tip shows that you value someone’s work.
It just feels good to tip.
It shows that you're a good person. It's a good thing to do.
It shows you have class.
Tipping is common courtesy. It's customary.
Not tipping is considered rude

This is assuming the service was okay..
Service people are motivated by money as much as anyone. Those who repeatedly tip the same service people usually get better service.

But Seriously Folks

The buck has to stop some place at some time. When in a new country we encounter different kinds of services we may not be exposed to in our native countries This is all well and good, but do Thais tip for similar services and if so, how much? Westerners visiting Asia are often viewed not as people but as animated ATM cards that can and must certainly tip. In fact we may often be unknowingly tipping when we are overcharged (Pahsee farang or westerners’ tax) for many services. I have had experiences where my acts of largess and goodwill where often perceived as being foolhardy by my Asian companions (don’t read the lips, read the faces).

Some people are good and some people are bad in any and all countries both tourist and resident. So what it all boils down to is what you feel comfortable with. Don’t let your company or environment steer your heart. Don’t melt in the heat of the moment. Establish a tipping etiquette. I always ask myself if the person who provided a service for me truly did anything for me. So I seek to resolve my tipping dilemma with this simple motto:

It’s your money, so if it feels good Do It! But it’s got to feel good.