Maybe I am old fashioned but whats wrong with doing a little old fashion courting. My girlfriend here was chaperoned for our first year of courting. we developed a very good relationship over time. I know its a more of a challenge but far more rewarding.

I have seen it so many times, lads wake up next to someone not remembering even her bar nickname or what bar she came from and a week later giving her 500 quid. Then a week after that waving goodbye at the airport with a promise of "lub and mally and money" sending hundreds every month ..The only reason they might know her proper name is because she has given him her bank details.

Now thats something to tell your grandchildren

There are so many ways to meet Thai ladies without waving wads of cash in a bar.

There again maybe I am just a daft old coot.
TC

old fashioned values there from TC, sounds like the sought of thing that went on 50 years ago,doe's it still happen, chaperoned for the first year don't think i could handle that especially if it was the mother-in-law.

Yes, indeed TC. I've had a taste of that. A teacher at the school I used to teach at. She was insistent that she was 95% traditional. Chaperoned for the first month or two, then we travelled on separate motorbikes to the same restaurant. It was only after about 3 months that she would sit behind me on my motorbike, and even then you wouldn't know she was there, - no bodily contact.

She would squeeze my arm, but officially I wasn't allowed to do the same!
Wouldn't allow me to kiss her, apart from on the cheek for many months.

Never asked for money. When I tried to give her an old telephone, was embarrassed and reluctant to take it, but agreed to "borrow" it. (She returned it when we split up). Sometimes paid for meals when we went out. It can be worth the very long wait, if you get a really good one.

The downside was never knowing what she was doing on the evenings when she wasn't out with me, not to mention the feeling that my life was passing quickly, but I was going nowhere slowly. She also seemed to have many secrets.

The relationship progressed as far as meeting her parents (whom she did not live with) and agreeing a wedding date and sin sot.

However, in the end things did not work out, mainly I think from pressures upon her from others and her worries, and we went our separate ways, which at the time was very sad. After we split up she asked to borrow a few thousand baht, until she got paid, which I lent her. It was returned into my bank a/c on the agreed date.

She then left her job, as well as me, and I have never heard from her since. (She returned the phone).

Well Patayapete, the answer you are seeking will be somewhere within this relationship forum. All the signs for good or bad await your reading. Remember these are actual experiences from a lot of guys that have, so to speak, been through the milll themselves.You will see the most often quoted advise is, take your time, don't spend more than you can afford to lose. A final tip from me, keep your brains where they belong, if that other little guy starts influencing your decisions, take him off for a little R&R and come back with a clear mind.
Personally, in your situation I would check the surname on the 3 kids birth certificates. Do they all have the same father? Just a thought.
But finally it all comes down to you, its your decision.Good luck anyway.